RUKUNEGARA.....???

Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan

Kesetiaan Kepada Raja Dan Negara

Keluhuran Perlembagaan

Kedaulatan Undang-undang

Kesopanan Dan Kesusilaan

       I have consumed loaves of Gardenia bread. Have been buying this since it was first introduced into our market. But it was only yesterday that I noticed that the Rukunegara is printed on its wrapper. Hmmm...goes to show how observant I am!!
        It got me thinking that almost everything that the Rukunegara embraces has eroded over the years. It was introduced when I was in primary school. I remember having to memorise it since we had to chant it during Monday morning assembly. The teachers probably explained it to us but it meant nothing to us then because everyone I knew had a religion albeit different, kings and sultans were just...well...kings and sultans and had no impact on our young lives, we didn't know anything about "perlembagaan" and "undang-undang" except for the ones enforced on us at home and at school, and most of us were polite and courteous to each other.
       We didn't have 1Malaysia. Instead we had "Muhibbah" - there was a song to go along with that:

Muhibbah Muhibbah

Itulah amalan kita semua

Muhibbah Muhibbah

Sejak sedari zaman purbakala

Tunaikanlah ikrar

Satu nusa satu bangsa merdeka

Satu loghat dan satu suara

Dalam Malaysia jaya

Junjung tinggi cita-cita bangsa

Hormatilah perlembagaanya

Marilah kita berganding tangan

Hapuskanlah jurang perbezaan

Muhibbah Muhibbah

Gema bersatu padu satu bangsa

Negarakan makmur bahagia

Dalam Malaysia jaya

If you remember this song then you're definitely my peer! Had to sing this at Monday morning assembly, too, aside from Negaraku and the Selangor state song (there was no Wilayah Persekutuan then). We sure did a lot of singing then it seems. And we were very "muhibbah". My closest friends were Yuhanis Yusoff, Bhajan Kaur and Cheah Yew Sim...definitely the epitome of "muhibbah". We also had civic lessons to further enforce the "kesopanan dan kesusilaan". We didn't define people by race. People were just people and there were those who were different from us in terms of culture etc but we were okay...no big deal. In fact, we couldn't tell the rich kids from the less privileged - it didn't bother us one whit anyway. Friends were friends and foes were foes...all very personal...it had nothing to do with family background, social status etc. Life was a lot simpler then. 

        Now religion (or lack off) is a big issue. Everyone's screaming at each other...those with faith of some sort, agnostics, atheists and variations of these. Everyone wants to be heard and almost noone wants to listen. Many scream insults at each other endlessly....sigh....Now we have racism. People just don't trust and respect each other much anymore. And they also don't trust the "keluhuran perlembagaan". People pooh-pooh the "kedaulatan undang-undang". "Kesetiaan Kepada Raja Dan Negara" is also passe by the look of things. And many agree that there is a serious lack of "kesopanan dan kesusilaan".....big sigh....

        No wonder our Malaysia is no longer "rukun"............

bukan senang nak jadi baik....2

        I remember mak's "rules" on fights/bickerings for us siblings:
1.  no shouting/raised voices
2.  no physical abuse
3.  no bad words. In mak's case, labelling someone as "bodoh" is considered "bad".
Imagine trying to fight with these rules strictly enforced!! So we got pretty good at being sarcastic as in applying "bahasa berkias", witty and putting a sweet face on when throwing insults. I didn't realise how useful this training was until I reached adulthood. Due to this, we siblings hardly bickered as it wasn't "fun". The neighbours were always amazed at mak's ability to "keep the peace" in our home with at least 4 boys there to wrought havoc. And mak made sure we applied these rules out of the home, too. My brothers broke these rules at times but we girls NEVER did...because mak always reminded us that, "Perempuan tak bercakap kasar. Betina aja yang macam tu". This and bapa's constant reminder to "jaga niat" shaped my personality to a large extent.
        I have a fiery nature and never turned down a fight as a kid. Despite the long hair and angelic look, I was even more of a boy than my brother who is a year older than me. I was the one tasked with clambering over the school gate to wake up the guard for one. To this day, I marvel at the fact that I never once got hurt by the barbed wires placed on top of the school gate...not even a little nick! But, no matter how hard I fought with the boys, I didn't call them names or spew expletives. And I NEVER fight with the girls....so much so I became their "saviour" when they got teased by the boys. I also became every shy/timid/nerd boy's best friend.
        These characteristics served me well in my adult life. I learnt to be patient most times...sempat beristighfar dulu sebelum menjawab...and to walk away from mindless arguments. Whenever I needed to put my stand across, I just do it rationally. I didn't care much if I had support - I just said whatever needed to be said. Those closest to me know that if they want an honest opinion, they're likely to get it from me. I learnt to listen and feel. For some reason, I'm blessed with this ability to "feel". And I easily accept people's opinions even if I don't agree. It doesn't mean I'll follow though - and this gave rise to a lot of misunderstandings between me and my peers. Many assumed that my agreement came along with my acceptance! It took a while for them to accept that "acceptance" doesn't mean "agree" and to adopt the mantra "agree to disagree".
        Bapa's "jaga niat" advice certainly served me well...then...and now. I had to work at keeping my niat "clean and pure" so to speak. NOT EASY for this fiery soul! The number of times I bit my tongue, walked away from heated moments, bowed down to "opposing" forces, maintained an unwavering smile when I felt like spitting in someone's face...so much so that some labelled me spineless, coward etc. "You ni mengalah sangat! Apasal you tak cakap aje kat dia...", was something I heard time and time again. But this "mengalah tapi tak bermakna kalah" was what kept the sillaturrahim. As time passed, this statement became intertwined with, "You ni malaikat hiduplah". Huh...me...malaikat??? Nope...there were times when my "baser" side got the better of me...when my daughters were unjustly insulted was one occassion. The person learnt to never do that again!
        How did I tame my natural instinct to insult someone back for instance? I wrote letters...in which I poured my feelings and emotions. I literally emptied all my emotions into these letters until I felt relieved. And then I smiled and burnt these letters...and all is well again. I cried if I had to cry. I jogged, swam, cycled to expend my negative energy. Thank goodness I never felt the urge to binge! Food was never in the equation as I was brought up to view food with reverence. Food is meant to be savoured and "tasted" and appreciated. So I don't eat well when I'm angry/depressed etc.
        So the face I presented to the world was, oftentimes, a happy one. Many thought that I didn't have a care in this life. Many said, "I wish I were you - no problems, always smiling". Many also said, "Oh, you wouldn't know how bad life is. You've never been tested". And these statements were, oftentimes, from folks who didn't want to know about me. And I would leave it at that. I'd even stop well-intentioned close buddies from telling them about my life's experiences. As far as I'm concerned, it's not important that others know. I learnt to hide my sufferings...only talking to God or the very few close friends (and that, too, when prompted).
       God...Allah...is always present in my life although I wasn't diligent in my prayers etc. I was always talking to Him. He is my best buddy...the only one I trust to listen well, to not judge me harshly, to give me guidance, to help me at all times, to always know the real me...I converse, write, rant about whatever irks me just with Him....because I know He knows me better than anyone or even I know myself. Every time I needed an answer, He gave it to me. His ways may be unexpected at times...but He always answers me. There was this one time when I wanted to know about 3 things. I wrote myself a note to check on these when I had some free time. Within hours, a friend called up to invite me to an usrah. Normally, I would say no to this friend but on this occassion I said yes immediately - without thinking actually. So there I was at this crowded hall. We were told to write down our queries and to pass it on to this person tasked with collecting them. I wrote down mine but for some reason, I didn't pass it on. Imagine my surprise when 2 folks asked the very questions in my mind. What was even more surprising was noone asked about the third matter that I had in mind, but the ustaz actually talked about it! Hence, my 3 queries were answered! This sort of thing happened many, many times in my life...and is still happening to this day.....

[...to be continued...]

Jom tolong..

Sama-samalah kita berdoa untuk kemenangan saudara-saudara kita di Syria yang sedang bangun menentang rejim Basyar Asad..Semoga Allah melindungi pejuang2 yang berjuang di  jalanNya..Allahuakbar!

Kepada Saudara-saudara kami di Syria :

Sesungguhnya air mata kalian adalah air mata kami..

 darah-darah  kalian adalah darah-darah  kami..

darah anak-anak kalian adalah darah anak-anak kami..

para syuhada kalian adalah syuhada-syuhada kami..

dan sekecil-kecil pertolongan kami kepada kalian adalah doa-doa kami..

Ya Allah, Engkau berikanlah kemenangan kepada saudara-saudara kami di Syria..

berikanlah kekuatan kepada mereka untuk menjatuhkan rejim yang telah menindas hak-hak mereka..

berikanlah kekuatan kepada mereka untuk menebus kematian anak-anak mereka..

dan berikanlah semangat kepada mereka untuk meninggikan kalimahMu, Ya Allah..

Amin

Kita yang berkata..

Kita yang berkata


sebahagian kita....

duduknya bersilang kaki
di tempat kononnya bertaraf tinggi
meneguk air emas,berbakul disaji
lalu bangkit,hanyut di lantai tari
kata mereka..
"sekadar entertain client,demi sesuap nasi"
hukum diletak tepi.....

sebahagian kita

gayanya seperti puteri
kononnya model sana sini
berpakaian seksi ,walaupun nama berbinti
anehnya ada yang bernama "siti"
awalan suci isteri nabi
agak terasa mencuit hati
tapi kata mereka..
"ini semua fesyen terkini , kamu jangan busy body"
syariat dipandang sepi....

sebahagian kita

perempuan dijadikan koleksi
usia separuh abad masih mencari geli
kehulu kehilir berkepit,umpama muda-mudi
sedang dirumah empat anak,seorang isteri
kata mereka..
"lelaki tak cukup hanya dengan bini"
mereka lupa halalnya poligami...

sebahagian kita

berjiwa besar,bercita tinggi
ingin menjadi doktor atau menteri
rajin menelaah layak ke universiti
Alhamdulillah,hingga sampai ke luar negeri
namun kembali lesap identiti
budaya baru memusnah pekerti
kata mereka..
"this is hippie , you don't know??orang kampung is so funny"
budaya sendiri diperli...

sebahagian kita

bermesyuarat sebulan sekali
katanya masalah sekitar menjadi isi
rupanya kerana kepentingan sendiri
berebut tender untuk kroni
kemungkaran tidak lagi dipeduli
pusat maksiat subur disirami
mereka lupa, kewajipan itu tidak berparti
kata mereka..
"halal haram bukannya disini , kena melihat kepada realiti"
tiada lagi islamisasi....

sebahagian kita

hidup diatas kaki sendiri
sekadar mencukupi setiap hari
buang segala agenda peribadi
tidak pernah mengadu simpati
juga tiada gundah di hati
kata mereka..
"yang penting iman & taqwa dijaga rapi..insyaAllah adalah rezeki"
hamba sejati...

sebahagian kita

rumah ibadat masa diisi
seluruh anggota menyembah ilahi
tidak hanya berzikir mengaji
sentiasa berpegang pada janji
tanya mereka..
"bukankah kita semua akan mati?menunggu masa untuk diadili?"
Astaghfirullah...sesungguhnya kita semua telah bersaksi!



- Bukan sekadar nukilan dari ilusi...Buka mata lihatlah realiti... -

bukan senang nak jadi baik....1

        I came across this statement during one of my forays into Malay novels. How true this statement is! "Baik" encompasses everything - thoughts, actions, outlook, physical appearance...and the list goes on. Being human isn't easy. We are bombarded and, at times, overwhelmed by our emotions. Emotions that are further influenced by the physical world of advertisements, cultural mores, social expectations, family pressures etc.
         It certainly is NOT easy to be "baik"! During my years in the corporate world, I was expected to look, act and perform in a certain prescribed manner befitting my position in the organisation. Being a woman in a man's world wasn't a smooth ride. Although I was at the same level as my male colleagues, I couldn't afford to speak or act like them - although there were many occassions when I would have loved to stick my middle finger in front of their faces! Being one of only two women at that level , the other a non-Muslim,  made it imperative that I act and speak carefully. We were constantly observed. And I can just imagine the "locker room talk". Don't be fooled...men also have this predilection to bitch and label - at times, even worse than women!
         And the "come-ons" I get from the males...both within and without the organisation...sigh...It brings to mind something told to me by a friend, "lelaki ni macam kucing - walaupun dah kenyang, kalau ada lauk kat depan dia, dia tetap akan sniff". And "sniff" they did. So it's up to the women to hold on to their principles - to not be swayed by the sweet murmurings...especially if you don't look like the back of a dirty bus. I socialised with my male colleagues to the very bare minimum after office hours, usually swimming with the few "safe" ones. The corporate world offers myriad temptations to shake your iman, particularly if you keep long hours at the office. You see the same faces, eat, talk, work and hang around them a lot longer than you do with your family - made even worse when you have to travel a fair bit for work.
         Add this to "the grass is always greener on the other side" and one has a recipe for emotional disaster. You come home tired. Your spouse comes home tired. Your children got tired of waiting up for you. Both you and spouse are too tired to talk or do much of anything else. Home becomes just a place to rest all our collective weary heads. pfffft!! If you're like me who became a "janda" (yea...THAT word) at a relatively young age, then you're open to a different kind of temptation and bias. You're suddenly deemed dangerous, exciting, attractive, sluttish...depending on who is looking at you. In my case, proposals (indecent and otherwise) abounded. I was spoilt for choice ***rolling eyes***. I kept my cool and surrounded myself with people I trusted.
         I'm no angel...and I'm far from being one now. But I, too, yearn to be "baik"...before I meet my maker. I used to observe the "baik" folks around me - those who accepted me warts and all. They contributed to my holding on to my principles all these years. They didn't label me and never tire of egging me on - in their own unique ways. As the years passed, this wanting-to-be-baik urge got stronger. I quit doing many activities I used to do mindlessly. I turned to inner reflection a lot more, a lot longer. I prayed for salvation.
         And you know what? Allah always gives you what you want - at least that's how I feel.... :)

[to be continued...]

why??? ....

       There was a status update today which epitomises the general Muslim Malay mentality. It was a pic of a woman in tudung, some kind of clingy long pants - which was wet putting her underpants on public display. Okay...agreed that this young lady should have been more mindful of her attire. But that's another story...
       The caption for the pic and the remarks from the viewers (all Malays and probably all Muslim if I were to go by their remarks) were what saddened me. EVERYONE had something derogatory to say EXCEPT for one sweet soul who cautioned them that this might be a canned pic. There were those who got on their mighty high horse to remark something like this, "itulah kalau tak tau agama..."....haish....
       If the cameraman is a Muslim, then I would really love to knock him/her on the head - a hard knock! For the time it took to focus the camera, he/she could have walked up to the woman and told her of the embarrassing sight I would think. That would have been more "mulia"....kan....Ini tak...siap ambil gambar...THEN post pula on fb! Lepas tu bubuh caption yang mengaibkan....depicting the woman to be "bangang". Habis, kalau kita dah pandai sangat, awat tak kongsi ilmu kita tu?
       Kita ni saudara sesama Islam. Apa yang memalukan saudara kita memalukan kita juga. Imagine if the same thing happens to a family member or friend. Mesti kita malu and sakit hati kan. Mesti kita sumpah seranah kat orang yang sampai hati bubuh gambar ni on a public networking site. Sama jugalah dengan si hamba Allah tu. Mesti dia malu. Mesti family dia, friends dia pun malu...and marah juga. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes sebelum membuat benda-benda macam ni.
       To the cameraman, awak kata minah ni bangang. Then what do you call yourself when you broadcast "kebangangan" minah ni? A hero??? Tepuk dada tanya niat! If you're a guy, remember that you, too, have women in your family...to cherish, honour and protect. So try doing that to all the other women as well.....If you're a woman, then I wonder what you were thinking of when you allow a fellow sister to be humiliated....

"Study" part 1

Perspektif terhadap “Ilmu” part 1

Ada pepatah yang masih saya ingat , first time dengar melalui siaran radio masa tengah bawak kereta, lebih kurang macam ni bunyinya “sahabat yang paling akrab itu adalah akal fikiran dan musuh yang paling durjana itu adalah jahil”. Termenung sekejap bila terdengar pepatah ini kerana maksudnya yang secara peribadi bagi saya sangat “deep” .

Kita semua secara dasarnya memang dari kecil ditekankan oleh ibu bapa untuk belajar. Merujuk kepada sistem pendidikan di negara kita, kita mula menjejakkan kaki ke  pra sekolah seawal usia 6 tahun ,masuk ke alam sekolah rendah hingga ke usia 12 tahun , dan menamatkan alam persekolahan “by right” pada usia  17 tahun (SPM) . kita stop dekat situ dulu sebagai mewakili majority budak-budak yang menuntut secara formal . jadi jika ikut standard calculation kita telah habiskan 12 tahun untuk “sekolah”. Saya dulu selalu tertanya-tanya, “aku bangun pagi2 pegi sekolah ni untuk apa sebenarnya?” . masa tu kira memang malas giler lah nak pegi sekolah . diri selalu membentak “ah,satu rutin yang membosankan…..”. Masuk ke alam sekolah menengah , lagi lah haru , pergi sekolah sekadar untuk jumpa member , time rehat pegi makan , waktu sukan pegi berlari pusing padang , dan waktu yang paling “syiook” adalah time cikgu cuti , ianya seolah-olah “dream comes true”  bagi pelajar2 yang sewaktu dengan saya . Tapi bukannya saya nak story pasal zaman persekolahan saya yang “boring” tu. Sekadar ingin berkongsi pendapat mengenai “sistem”. Sistem yang pernah saya lalui sendiri , bukanlah bermaksud untuk “berlagak pandai” kerana saya bukanlah orang yang selayaknya untuk “mengomen” . namun dengan berpegang atas prinsip “perkongsian pendapat” . here it is..

bagi saya dekat sekolah , sistem bilik darjah sebenarnya telah dipisahkan secara “tidak” formal , iaitu = pelajar2 yang kategori elit duduk kelas depan, dan pelajar2 kategori “slow” duduk kelas2 belakang (common sense) . secara amnya memang nampak sistematik iaitu para guru boleh bagi lebih perhatian terhadap pelajar2 yang agak “lambat tangkap” mengikut level. Kalau ikutkan konsep ilmu itu sendiri , ianya(knowledge)  untuk difaham , bukan untuk dihafal …dan bila masuk je bab “kefahaman” ni , ianya bukan bergantung kepada guru semata-mata tapi juga atas faktor-faktor lain , lebih-lebih lagi bergantung kepada pelajar itu sendiri . jadi sistem pembahagian macam ini kita telah “block” sesuatu kepada pelajar2 lemah ni. Kita telah “block” dari segi “sosial” . mungkin saya boleh istilahkan ia sebagai “suasana sosial ilmiah” . kefahaman ini sesuatu yang “abstract” . kalau seorang guru boleh bagi kefahaman untuk semua muridnya . maka tidak timbul pulak benda macam ni ye tak? :D  .masalahnya TAK boleh.. depan cikgu memang lah pelajar2 yang lemah ni segan sebab kita dipengaruhi oleh perasaan hormat atau mungkin “takut” kat guru2 tertentu.  Tapi secara psikologinya kita lebih mudah untuk berinteraksi dengan lingkungan mereka yang sebaya dengan kita sebab “level of respect” tu dah “direndahkan” sikit . cikgu dah menyampaikan dengan sebaik-baiknya . saya ulangi…MENYAMPAIKAN ..bukan MEMAHAMKAN…cikgu sampaikan supaya kita faham= kalau tak faham pegilah tanya (cliché)… dan sepatutnya pelajar-pelajar kategori “Elite” ni lagilah cepat faham daripada pelajar yang lain . mungkin cikgu terangkan sekali je dah boleh “master”.penguasaan mereka dah kira “advance”.kalau ikutkan kajian, antara faktor kejayaan pelajar dalam akademik adalah melalui “study group”.mereka2 yang elit ni sebenarnya suka untuk menghabiskan “free time” (cikgu tak masuk) kat sekolah untuk berdiskusi sesama mereka . budak-budak ni bukannya rajin sangat nak buat study group kat luar sekolah selepas waktu belajar. Banyak lagi aktiviti “riadah” dorang kat rumah tu. Apatah lagi pelajar2  yang lemah . ..kat sekolah jelah tempat mereka ni nak “menuntut”. Mereka2 ni sebenarnya bukannya malas sangat nak belajar. Mereka pun berhasrat nak jadi “pandai”..tapi problemnya mereka nak discuss apekebenda sesama dorang? Semua geng 1 kelas pun tak berapa nak faham subjek yang cikgu baru lepas ajar. Orang cakap “cannot go”. Last2 moral mereka akan jadi “down”. Nak suruh dorang pegi tanya budak2 pandai kelas atas manalah mereka kenal sangat. Tengok muka pun seminggu sekali time assembly..sebab kita dah “block” sosial antara mereka tu..kita wujudkan jurang..kefahaman pelajaran itu kemungkinan lebih mudah untuk difaham apabila diterangkan oleh rakan sebaya . kerana interaksi itu menjadi lebih “informal”. Saya cakap ni berdasarkan pengalaman..saya dulu paling lemah math..kat kampung dulu saya belajar subjek math dengan kawan saya, banyak kefahaman datang secara langsung dari dia..bukannya saya nak cakap cikgu ajar tak pandai..kalau tak pandai takkanlah member saya ni power matematik. .cuma memang saya banyak faham dari dia..kat sekolah subjek math ni saya cuma dapat “input” dari guru..tapi tak faham konsep dia..mungkin sebab saya tak suka calculation sangat..nasib baik saya kenal member saya tu..kalau tak kenal??sampai sekarang jahil mengira agaknya..

mungkin kita boleh cedok sistem pendidikan dulu2…tok2 guru mengajar agama..mengajar mengaji ..semua pun kumpul sekali je..duduk sekali..masing2 kenal..walaupun guru ajar murid mengikut tahap mereka jugak masa tu..tapi tidak wujud “social block” antara mereka . tidak ada “wall” yang memisahkan mereka. mungkin hari ini kita boleh try buat mix class selama seminggu ..then skip ..lepas tu combine lagi..lebih kurang macam tu lah.. :D….maksud tulisan saya ni bukannya nak kata kat sekolah tu “block” terus interaksi  sosial antara murid tu. cuma ada jurang2 pendidikan “berkelompok”..tu je..bukan apa..sebab pergaulan sesama “level” ni..takut jadi yang pandai makin pandai…yang tak pandai = pandai2 lah sendiri…. Wallahua’alam..

p/s : terpaksa study math masa SPM dulu sebab terasa nak sambung belajar secara formal.. antara subjek wajib kredit… :D