I HATE carpets.....

     I like LOOKING at carpets...in other people's spaces. I absolutely HATE having them all over MY home. Okay, I'm exaggerating. I do like carpets to cover cold cement floors. Also for providing a soft landing for my old, old knees. So SMALL carpets that are not too thick are fine with me. The sort that doesn't require strenuous vacuuming are really, absolutely, decidedly fine with me. I could live with that.
     Why am I ranting? I've just moved into the little flat behind mum's huge home...and looking at this 6'x9' carpet that came with the flat. The carpet that is hiding the faux wooden floor. I'm wondering if I should just roll it up and store it...somewhere. Any where OUTSIDE my flat. I really don't care!
     I've lived with carpets for far too long. Mum has a soft spot for them. My sis adores them. And since I live with them, I have no choice but to tolerate them carpets. There are antique Persian ones, contemporary Persian ones, and many others whose origins I don't even know (or care for that matter). They are all over the house - on the floor, up the walls...thank goodness there are none on the ceiling! If not for the fact that we're predisposed to wet bathrooms, I'm sure there'll be carpets there, too.
     On the plus side, should anyone die on us at No 30, we could easily roll you up in a nice carpet should we be unable to get "tikar mengkuang" ;)

apa guna tua....

apa guna tua

hanya pada usia

jika kematangan tiada

apa guna tua

jika kurang ilmunya

tipis amalan yang diredha

apa guna tua

jika hanya berleka

menunggu padam usia

apa guna tua

jika mati hatinya

buta semua deria

apa guna tua

jika hanya bernafas

untuk hidup penuh alpa

apa guna tua

jika untuk memburu yang tak berguna

hanya untuk selesa dunia

apa guna tua

jika tidak mampu mendidik diri

cukup bersahaja dengan zuriatnya

apa guna tua

jika tidak mahu berubah

tidak mahu berusaha mencari redhaNya

apa guna hidup lama

jika hanya untuk makan, minum, bersuka

menghabiskan usia sambil lewa.........

tete-a-tete...dengan sahabat :)

     It's been a long while since we last chatted over a cup of coffee. Yea...I missed you much! You...who have always been there....
     This time I was different - at least attire-wise....hahaha....but to you I'm still the same girl you went through college with. We had our moments ya! Those poor days in college...those poor days when we first worked. The days when we had maybe RM20 between us...yet it was still enough to fill the tank, to enjoy nasi ayam and drinks for two and still have about RM2 left for a small pack of ciggies....[and you always swiped my ciggies!!].
     But we were pretty happy being poor. There was always laughter and such strong appreciation for whatever we could afford with our RM20. It became a game for us to see what we could eat after RM5 or RM10 was spent on petrol...there was always the RM2 nasi ayam to fall back on! And that makcik would give us extra big portions just because she liked the way we smiled....hahaha....
     You used to call me "panglima" because of my "bahasa tersurat" ie my straight talking style. And I called you "dato bendahara" for your utterly "berlapik" mode of speech - we had such different personalities! The number of times you went, "takpe, takpe, Ijan...biar I yang cakap kat dia" because you knew I'd wreak havoc with my straight talking ways...hahaha...
     We couldn't meet as often when we had "big" jobs - what with our travelling schedule and also our respective family obligations. However, we would be there for each other in spirit. We knew all about each other's family - births, deaths, marriages, divorces, ailments, kids, spouses, work bla bla bla....
     The funny thing was we were never interested in each other romantically - it was pure friendship right from the start. And it blossomed into "sahabat"-ship. I love you my "sahabat"....and I know, without a doubt, how much I'm loved in return  :)
     Semoga kita bersahabat juga di jannah....insyaallah......  :)

Aku & Amanah

AKU & AMANAH

sesungguhnya aku ingin...
meniti dijalan sunnah
berteduh di dalam jemaah

tapi aku masih..
termangu mencari arah
mengubat hati bernanah

sesungguhnya aku ingin..
berjuang menegak kalimah
berjihad berkorban darah

tapi aku masih..
dibuai mimpi indah
terbaring bak insan lemah

sesungguhnya aku ingin..
taat menjunjung segala perintah
menggenggam tanggungjawab sebagai khalifah

tapi aku masih..
mengabdi nafsu serakah
menurut kehendak dunia yang parah

sesungguhnya aku ingin..
berpaut pada hidayah
menyingkap tabir makrifah

tapi aku masih..
ditipu akal yang mentah
lemas di lautan fitnah

namun hanya padaMu tempat ku berserah...

hilangkan dariku segala mazmumah
tunjukkan padaku jalan yang cerah
kurniakan padaku hati yang tabah
tetapkan diriku dalam syahadah
kekalkan nafasku dalam ibadah
hulurkan padaku tali istiqamah
pautkan untukku ikatan ukhuwah
hangatkan jiwaku dengan selimut mujahadah

kerana sesungguhnya aku terlalu ingin..

hujung nafasku husnul khatimah
kembali padamu dengan sakinah
bertemu kekasihMU didalam Jannah..


- HambaNya yang fakir -

                                                                                                                                                          Hafiz.

ups...and downs....

at times i feel like i'm drunk

gingerly putting one foot in front of the other

walking the line is often tough.....

eyes closed, head spinning

my mind a whirlpool

making sleep impossible!

and there are times when i feel i can fly

flapping my wings without feathers

floating gracefully in the sky

floating in the wind, floating in the wind.......

but what i really want, really really want

is to step firmly on this hallowed ground

yet feel like i'm floating, floating

high up in the sky........

of deaths & friendships...

Last night I went with a couple of friends to visit a friend whose mother passed on earlier in the afternoon. Another reminder at how fragile life is. You just DON'T know when your time is up. The three of us ended up at Satay Station later for a very late dinner. It was more of an excuse to touch base with our thoughts and feelings.

I absolutely love these friends of mine. I trust them. I KNOW they'll always prop me up and be my cheerleaders when I need cheerleaders to help me get on with life. THANK YOU guys....you know who you are  :)

I'M BLESSED!! Thank you ya Allah!

Nikmat

Nikmat

Mata yang melihat
mulut yang bercakap
akal yang sihat
tulang yang tegap
kaki yang menongkat
sempurna segala sifat

apakah belum cukup nikmat?
sampai begitu angkuh untuk taat
apakah bukan nikmat?
sehingga hati ditutup rapat


mari mengingat
sebelum ditarik rahmat


mari mengingat
sebelum nafas disekat

mari mengingat
sebelum ajal mendekat

mari mengingat
sebelum nesan mengambil tempat

maut tidak bersyarat
mustahil ditolak walau sesaat



.......:kufur nikmat..bunyinya berat...namun mudah "ter"buat... :)

 "Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?? " - diulang2 dalam surah Ar-Rahman -