A Boy...and his mother....

      I have been spending a lot of time at the hospital these past couple of days. Mak's been admitted for mild stroke. The ward that she's in is filled with patients who are in critical condition.

      Today, one of the patients in the row across from her breathed her last breath...alone and almost unnoticed.  I remember the doctor telling her children at lunch time that there was nothing more he could do for their mother, and mooted that they took her home. The children decided not to...and none waited by her side...and noone was there when the medics covered her and carted her away a few hours later.

      On the other hand, there is this boy [barely 13] who sat diligently by his mother's side, holding her hand all the time. He was alone and he looked lost. It touched a chord in me. I went up to him and struck a conversation. He's the youngest of 6 siblings - the rest are either working or at school. So he was left to keep his mum company. And he's doing a great job of it! Since he hadn't had his lunch yet, I told him that I'd relief him for a while. After all, his mum seemed comfortable with me - she had taken to holding my hand and managed to doze off for a bit.

      I discovered that his lunch consisted of instant noodle in a cup [I had expected him to go to the cafeteria]. There was a pile of it on the bedside table! And that was all he had with him. I sensed that this boy wouldn't accept my money for lunch at the cafeteria. There's just something about this young boy...a certain maturity. Maybe he had to grow up too soon. He's polite, calm and caring. I saw how concerned he was about his mum...the way he responded to her every groan and moan. Yet I also sensed that he was relieved that an adult was there with him...albeit a stranger. His eyes never left her while he consumed his instant noodles. He ate quickly...as if he's scared that his mum might feel abandoned if he left her hand unheld for long.

      I wished I could have given him a hug.

      When I saw him again during the evening visiting hour, he had company. I guess the girl is his sister as they have similar looks. There was also a man on a wheelchair and a young adult. We smiled at each other...that boy and I.

      I had passed him some cookies earlier and I noticed that they were all gone. I believe that we're now friends....  :)

me can do oso.... :D

      I'm known for sleeping after dawn and getting up at the crack of lunch. Well, folks....no more!! At least not for the last week or so. They say it's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks....I can attest to that! It took 52 years!! Even as a kid, I would get up at past midnight and read till it's time to "get up" for school. That was how I managed to go through the entire primary school/class library. I was actually given an award for this  :D

      My parents were pretty concerned about my "vampire" hours at one point...but our doctor placated them by saying that children born at night tend to stay awake during the night. Hence, my total freedom to zzzz as I please. Then came boarding school...which meant fixed "sleeping hours". Mannn...THAT was tough! Thank goodness for brightly lighted corridors which allowed for reading [after inspection].

      All through my life, I have managed to survive on very little sleep. Yet, I don't doze off in class/at work...well, not often anyway. I've lost track of the number of times I've gone straight to work/social functions after sleepless nights. Some thought I suffer from insomnia...nahhh...I sleep fine.

      It does help that I have this constitution for sleeping almost anywhere...on couches, under tables, in the open air, on hammocks, in wing chairs [Zai can vouch for this!!] - in fact, any space that has good ventilation and the ground doesn't move. Funny enough, I can't sleep much on planes, in cars, buses...ie moving vehicles. Hence, the reason I get restless when I have to travel long distances. Maybe trains could help. I must try this [and I don't mean the Komuter/LRT].

      So, don't be offended if you don't get a response to phone calls and SMS after 10.30pm okay...I'm probably dead to the world!!

      There's really something addictive to sleeping before the witching hour.....  ;)

Sudah2lah.... :)

aku melihat dia

begitu bersungguh mengejar dunia

banyak sudah dia ada

masih kurang juga dia rasa..........

      Dari muda memang macam itulah dia...sentiasa berusaha mempertingkatkan taraf kehidupan dia. Masa dia muda2 dulu, semua bangga tengok dia begitu cekal dan tak reti penat lelah cari makan. Sampailah dia kaya. Kaya semasa masih lagi muda. Ramai kawan dia. Yang takde kena mengena pun mengaku sedara. Jumpa sekali pun ramai yang dah mengaku "lu gua punya braderrr...forever....".

      Dia pun senang aje percaya. Kembang dengan segala kata2 halwa telinga mereka2 ni. Bila kawan2 yang setia masa sama2 susah dulu tegur lebih kurang supaya beringat...huish...langsung putus sedara! Mana boleh nak percaya...dia orang ni semua "jealous" aje! Dia lupa....

kasihan dia

berkejar2, terkejar2 merata2

mencari entah apa2

hingga ke senja usia...........

      Sekarang dia dah tua. Dah dimamah usia. Tapi dia tetap sama macam masa muda...masih dengan lagak dia. Yang sedihnya dia dah tak ambil kira halal haram bila berusaha. Janji "maintain" kaya. Sekurang2nya nampak macam kaya pun okay aje. Tak kiralah siapa dia pancung - brader ke, sedara ke, keluarga ke..... Janji dia tak apa2. Janji tetap kaya juga. Janji dapat syurga dunia!

      Dia tak pernah nak ingat bab2 mati. Bab2 nanti nak kena menjawab tentang segala apa yang dia buat. Yelah...Tuhan bukan dia boleh nampak pun. Azab kubur, azab neraka tu cerita aje. Bukan ada orang yang dah mati datang balik nak bagitau keadaan kat sana tu. Kawan2 sekeliling pun specie sama - semua jenis lupa. Specie hamba duit, hamba dunia.

berhentilah......

bersyukurlah.....

cubalah muhasabah

cari dirimu yang sebenar

lama sudah kau berkejar terkejar2

tinggallah dunia ni...ia hanya ilusi bikin hati beku mati!

cubalah pulak cari jalan ke si Pemberi

      Dia takut! Dia tahu dia dah banyak buat dosa. Walaupun dia takkan mengaku depan kita. Tak siapa suruh mengaku pun. Pergi ajelah mengaku dengan Allah ta'ala. Siapa pun takkan tau. Masalahnya dia pun tak nak mengaku dengan diri dia...yang dia memang dah buat banyak dosa. Semuanya salah orang. Orang aje yang aniaya dia. Parah!

      Sampai bila nak macam ni? Sampai mati? Sudah-sudahlah tu....... :)

Messages :)

      I've been so tempted to give my piece of mind to this hamba Allah of late. So, so very tempted. But something held me back. Also the fact that I didn't, somehow, cross her path much this past week although we live just a stone's throw from each other. I've been kept busy with this and that...which left me exhausted.

     

      I randomly picked a book from a pile on my dining table. It was La Tahzan. When I read what was written, I knew Allah had sent me a message. 

       jadilah wanita yang selalu bersyukur ketika senang dan bersabar ketika tertimpa musibah. jangan bermimpi hidup di alam khayalan, yang tidak ada sakit, tidak ada kemiskinan, tidak ada kesedihan, suami yang tanpa cela dan teman tanpa aib. perkara seperti ini tidak akan tercapai selamanya.

      oleh itu, pejamkanlah pandangan anda terhadap perkara2 yang negatif, kekeliruan dan kesalahan yg dilakukan oleh orang lain dan tujukanlah pandangan anda hanya pada sisi2 positif lagi baik yang ada pada mereka. tetaplah anda berbaik sangka, berpura2 tidak mengerti dan berpegang teguh hanya pada Allah. jangan sampai anda berpegang pada manusia, kerana sesungguhnya mereka tidak layak untuk dijadikan pegangan dan sandaran dalam menyelesaikan urusan Allah SWT.

      Thank goodness I kept my mouth shut. And I know that I won't be opening it to utter whatever I wanted to utter any time soon. I hope never to do it at all.

       In hindsight, it's actually a blessing. Although I have a mild temperament, my words do tend to sting pretty bad when I let them loose. I'm not known to lose my temper....which actually makes it worse. Because whatever I say, it would be something I've mulled through and through...and decided that I will take all repercussions for saying it.

      It's not about being right. It's about understanding a person's circumstances. It's about "berbaik sangka" even when I know that she loves putting people down. She's just a victim of her emotions, a product of her upbringing. I'm better off making dua for her than than reprimanding her. 

      She's not all bad. But I'm devilish enough to wish that she'd get a severe sore throat for the next two months...so she won't be able to utter a sound...not even a squeak! Yea...my bad!! I know...I know....berbaik sangka, berlapang dada......astaghfirullahalazim.....