It's the last day of 2012..... I hope to survive it.
I hope to be able to have another 365 days more.
I hope to be a better person...in every way.
I hope to write more.
I hope to speak less.
I hope to read more.
I hope mak will be back to her former, healthier, exuberant self.
I hope my twin girls will safely deliver their babies.
I hope my youngest will achieve her dreams.
I hope for no unpleasant surprises.
I hope for healthy, beautiful, brand new grandkids.
I hope that all will be well for everyone I love.
HAPPY 2013!
May this be my, your, their best year ever!
Monday 31 December 2012
Saturday 29 December 2012
Ada Apa Dengan Cinta
1. Oleh: Rako Prijanto
Ketika tunas ini tumbuh
Serupa tubuh yang mengakar
Setiap nafas yang terhembus adalah kata
Angan, debur dan emosi
Bersatu dalam jubah terpautan
Tangan kita terikat
Lidah kita menyatu
Maka apa terucap adalah sabda pendita ratu
Ahh.. diluar itu pasir diluar itu debu
Hanya angin meniup saja
Lalu terbang hilang tak ada
Tapi kita tetap menari
Menari cuma kita yg tau
Jiwa ini tandu maka duduk saja
Maka akan kita bawa
Semua
Karena..
Kita..
Adalah..
SATU
Setiap nafas yang terhembus adalah kata
Angan, debur dan emosi
Bersatu dalam jubah terpautan
Tangan kita terikat
Lidah kita menyatu
Maka apa terucap adalah sabda pendita ratu
Ahh.. diluar itu pasir diluar itu debu
Hanya angin meniup saja
Lalu terbang hilang tak ada
Tapi kita tetap menari
Menari cuma kita yg tau
Jiwa ini tandu maka duduk saja
Maka akan kita bawa
Semua
Karena..
Kita..
Adalah..
SATU
2. Oleh: Rako Prijanto
Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku
Kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
Sepi… sepi dan sendiri aku benci
Ingin bingar aku mau di pasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
Enyah saja engkau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang ditembok keraton putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja loncengnya biar terdera
Atau aku harus lari ke hutan belok ke pantai
3. Oleh: Rako Prijanto
Perempuan datang atas nama cinta
Bunda pergi karena cinta
Digenangi air racun jingga adalah wajahmu
Seperti bulan lelap tidur dihatimu
Yang berdinding kelam dan kedinginan
Ada apa dengannya
Meninggalkan hati untuk dicaci
Baru sekali ini aku melihat karya surga dalam mata seorang hawa
Ada apa dengan cinta
Tapi aku pasti akan kembali
Dalam satu purnama
Untuk mempertanyakan kembali cintanya
Bukan untuknya
Bukan untuk siapa
Tapi untukku
Karena aku ingin kamu
Itu saja
Bunda pergi karena cinta
Digenangi air racun jingga adalah wajahmu
Seperti bulan lelap tidur dihatimu
Yang berdinding kelam dan kedinginan
Ada apa dengannya
Meninggalkan hati untuk dicaci
Baru sekali ini aku melihat karya surga dalam mata seorang hawa
Ada apa dengan cinta
Tapi aku pasti akan kembali
Dalam satu purnama
Untuk mempertanyakan kembali cintanya
Bukan untuknya
Bukan untuk siapa
Tapi untukku
Karena aku ingin kamu
Itu saja
how i wish i could touch hearts this way :)
Monday 3 December 2012
I realised.....
I haven't been online much in the last couple of months. Mum had a stroke so much of my time was [and still is] spent on being the 'night nurse' - although I've been granted leave for the past week due to work commitments.
This trying and traumatic time has made me realise:
1. I can survive pretty well without the 'net'. It just didn't seem as important now as it was before.
2. who, among those who missed me, actually made an effort to find out if I'm still alive and kicking ;)
3. I can survive more than adequately on very little food and sleep.
4. I can live without coffee for days...and not have withdrawal symptoms.
5. that being in hospital made me smoke a LOT less as I'm too lazy to leave its compound.
6. that being in an ambulance during an emergency brings on extreme anxiety.
7. that ambulance drivers are really great drivers.
8. that doctors DO care.
9. that nurses are generally patient and caring.
10. that being in an air-conditioned room for 2 days and not showering gives me nosebleed.
11. that prayers are answered in the most amazing ways.
12. that mum is one determined lady even in ill health.
13. that I can cry at the drop of a hat.
14. that I am capable of putting my heart and soul into a 'doa'.
15. that I still appear calm and controlled even when I'm shaking inside.
16. that my younger brother and sister are my 'comrades'.
17. that my twin daughters are excellent nurses.
18. I know next to nothing about stroke and the after care for stroke victims.
19. I still get the jitters from the sound of ambulance sirens.
20. Gleneagles is a great hospital. So is Hospital Ampang.
21. the food at both hospitals are pretty yummy.
22. reciting 'rabbi yassir....' does get me good parking spots.
23. there is a need for courses on what to say and do when visiting gravely ill patients.
24. the formula that mum feeds on is yucky! A good thing she doesn't get to taste it!
25. one gets to learn many new skills - like changing bed linen without having to lift a person out of bed
26. mum does 'rebel' - albeit in a 'quiet' way ;)
27. it is possible to sleep on a straight-backed chair.
28. that I can ignore an untidy and un-vacuumed flat quite effortlessly [I still haven't cleaned it].
29. there are many generous, kind and caring people in this world.
30. what 'walking on air' means.
:)
Tuesday 16 October 2012
A Boy...and his mother....
I have been spending a lot of time at the hospital these past couple of days. Mak's been admitted for mild stroke. The ward that she's in is filled with patients who are in critical condition.
Today, one of the patients in the row across from her breathed her last breath...alone and almost unnoticed. I remember the doctor telling her children at lunch time that there was nothing more he could do for their mother, and mooted that they took her home. The children decided not to...and none waited by her side...and noone was there when the medics covered her and carted her away a few hours later.
On the other hand, there is this boy [barely 13] who sat diligently by his mother's side, holding her hand all the time. He was alone and he looked lost. It touched a chord in me. I went up to him and struck a conversation. He's the youngest of 6 siblings - the rest are either working or at school. So he was left to keep his mum company. And he's doing a great job of it! Since he hadn't had his lunch yet, I told him that I'd relief him for a while. After all, his mum seemed comfortable with me - she had taken to holding my hand and managed to doze off for a bit.
I discovered that his lunch consisted of instant noodle in a cup [I had expected him to go to the cafeteria]. There was a pile of it on the bedside table! And that was all he had with him. I sensed that this boy wouldn't accept my money for lunch at the cafeteria. There's just something about this young boy...a certain maturity. Maybe he had to grow up too soon. He's polite, calm and caring. I saw how concerned he was about his mum...the way he responded to her every groan and moan. Yet I also sensed that he was relieved that an adult was there with him...albeit a stranger. His eyes never left her while he consumed his instant noodles. He ate quickly...as if he's scared that his mum might feel abandoned if he left her hand unheld for long.
I wished I could have given him a hug.
When I saw him again during the evening visiting hour, he had company. I guess the girl is his sister as they have similar looks. There was also a man on a wheelchair and a young adult. We smiled at each other...that boy and I.
I had passed him some cookies earlier and I noticed that they were all gone. I believe that we're now friends.... :)
Today, one of the patients in the row across from her breathed her last breath...alone and almost unnoticed. I remember the doctor telling her children at lunch time that there was nothing more he could do for their mother, and mooted that they took her home. The children decided not to...and none waited by her side...and noone was there when the medics covered her and carted her away a few hours later.
On the other hand, there is this boy [barely 13] who sat diligently by his mother's side, holding her hand all the time. He was alone and he looked lost. It touched a chord in me. I went up to him and struck a conversation. He's the youngest of 6 siblings - the rest are either working or at school. So he was left to keep his mum company. And he's doing a great job of it! Since he hadn't had his lunch yet, I told him that I'd relief him for a while. After all, his mum seemed comfortable with me - she had taken to holding my hand and managed to doze off for a bit.
I discovered that his lunch consisted of instant noodle in a cup [I had expected him to go to the cafeteria]. There was a pile of it on the bedside table! And that was all he had with him. I sensed that this boy wouldn't accept my money for lunch at the cafeteria. There's just something about this young boy...a certain maturity. Maybe he had to grow up too soon. He's polite, calm and caring. I saw how concerned he was about his mum...the way he responded to her every groan and moan. Yet I also sensed that he was relieved that an adult was there with him...albeit a stranger. His eyes never left her while he consumed his instant noodles. He ate quickly...as if he's scared that his mum might feel abandoned if he left her hand unheld for long.
I wished I could have given him a hug.
When I saw him again during the evening visiting hour, he had company. I guess the girl is his sister as they have similar looks. There was also a man on a wheelchair and a young adult. We smiled at each other...that boy and I.
I had passed him some cookies earlier and I noticed that they were all gone. I believe that we're now friends.... :)
Thursday 11 October 2012
me can do oso.... :D
I'm known for sleeping after dawn and getting up at the crack of lunch. Well, folks....no more!! At least not for the last week or so. They say it's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks....I can attest to that! It took 52 years!! Even as a kid, I would get up at past midnight and read till it's time to "get up" for school. That was how I managed to go through the entire primary school/class library. I was actually given an award for this :D
My parents were pretty concerned about my "vampire" hours at one point...but our doctor placated them by saying that children born at night tend to stay awake during the night. Hence, my total freedom to zzzz as I please. Then came boarding school...which meant fixed "sleeping hours". Mannn...THAT was tough! Thank goodness for brightly lighted corridors which allowed for reading [after inspection].
All through my life, I have managed to survive on very little sleep. Yet, I don't doze off in class/at work...well, not often anyway. I've lost track of the number of times I've gone straight to work/social functions after sleepless nights. Some thought I suffer from insomnia...nahhh...I sleep fine.
It does help that I have this constitution for sleeping almost anywhere...on couches, under tables, in the open air, on hammocks, in wing chairs [Zai can vouch for this!!] - in fact, any space that has good ventilation and the ground doesn't move. Funny enough, I can't sleep much on planes, in cars, buses...ie moving vehicles. Hence, the reason I get restless when I have to travel long distances. Maybe trains could help. I must try this [and I don't mean the Komuter/LRT].
So, don't be offended if you don't get a response to phone calls and SMS after 10.30pm okay...I'm probably dead to the world!!
There's really something addictive to sleeping before the witching hour..... ;)
My parents were pretty concerned about my "vampire" hours at one point...but our doctor placated them by saying that children born at night tend to stay awake during the night. Hence, my total freedom to zzzz as I please. Then came boarding school...which meant fixed "sleeping hours". Mannn...THAT was tough! Thank goodness for brightly lighted corridors which allowed for reading [after inspection].
All through my life, I have managed to survive on very little sleep. Yet, I don't doze off in class/at work...well, not often anyway. I've lost track of the number of times I've gone straight to work/social functions after sleepless nights. Some thought I suffer from insomnia...nahhh...I sleep fine.
It does help that I have this constitution for sleeping almost anywhere...on couches, under tables, in the open air, on hammocks, in wing chairs [Zai can vouch for this!!] - in fact, any space that has good ventilation and the ground doesn't move. Funny enough, I can't sleep much on planes, in cars, buses...ie moving vehicles. Hence, the reason I get restless when I have to travel long distances. Maybe trains could help. I must try this [and I don't mean the Komuter/LRT].
So, don't be offended if you don't get a response to phone calls and SMS after 10.30pm okay...I'm probably dead to the world!!
There's really something addictive to sleeping before the witching hour..... ;)
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Sudah2lah.... :)
aku melihat dia
begitu bersungguh mengejar dunia
banyak sudah dia ada
masih kurang juga dia rasa..........
Dari muda memang macam itulah dia...sentiasa berusaha mempertingkatkan taraf kehidupan dia. Masa dia muda2 dulu, semua bangga tengok dia begitu cekal dan tak reti penat lelah cari makan. Sampailah dia kaya. Kaya semasa masih lagi muda. Ramai kawan dia. Yang takde kena mengena pun mengaku sedara. Jumpa sekali pun ramai yang dah mengaku "lu gua punya braderrr...forever....".
Dia pun senang aje percaya. Kembang dengan segala kata2 halwa telinga mereka2 ni. Bila kawan2 yang setia masa sama2 susah dulu tegur lebih kurang supaya beringat...huish...langsung putus sedara! Mana boleh nak percaya...dia orang ni semua "jealous" aje! Dia lupa....
kasihan dia
berkejar2, terkejar2 merata2
mencari entah apa2
hingga ke senja usia...........
Sekarang dia dah tua. Dah dimamah usia. Tapi dia tetap sama macam masa muda...masih dengan lagak dia. Yang sedihnya dia dah tak ambil kira halal haram bila berusaha. Janji "maintain" kaya. Sekurang2nya nampak macam kaya pun okay aje. Tak kiralah siapa dia pancung - brader ke, sedara ke, keluarga ke..... Janji dia tak apa2. Janji tetap kaya juga. Janji dapat syurga dunia!
Dia tak pernah nak ingat bab2 mati. Bab2 nanti nak kena menjawab tentang segala apa yang dia buat. Yelah...Tuhan bukan dia boleh nampak pun. Azab kubur, azab neraka tu cerita aje. Bukan ada orang yang dah mati datang balik nak bagitau keadaan kat sana tu. Kawan2 sekeliling pun specie sama - semua jenis lupa. Specie hamba duit, hamba dunia.
berhentilah......
bersyukurlah.....
cubalah muhasabah
cari dirimu yang sebenar
lama sudah kau berkejar terkejar2
tinggallah dunia ni...ia hanya ilusi bikin hati beku mati!
cubalah pulak cari jalan ke si Pemberi
Dia takut! Dia tahu dia dah banyak buat dosa. Walaupun dia takkan mengaku depan kita. Tak siapa suruh mengaku pun. Pergi ajelah mengaku dengan Allah ta'ala. Siapa pun takkan tau. Masalahnya dia pun tak nak mengaku dengan diri dia...yang dia memang dah buat banyak dosa. Semuanya salah orang. Orang aje yang aniaya dia. Parah!
Sampai bila nak macam ni? Sampai mati? Sudah-sudahlah tu....... :)
Saturday 6 October 2012
Messages :)
I've been so tempted to give my piece of mind to this hamba Allah of late. So, so very tempted. But something held me back. Also the fact that I didn't, somehow, cross her path much this past week although we live just a stone's throw from each other. I've been kept busy with this and that...which left me exhausted.
oleh itu, pejamkanlah pandangan anda terhadap perkara2 yang negatif, kekeliruan dan kesalahan yg dilakukan oleh orang lain dan tujukanlah pandangan anda hanya pada sisi2 positif lagi baik yang ada pada mereka. tetaplah anda berbaik sangka, berpura2 tidak mengerti dan berpegang teguh hanya pada Allah. jangan sampai anda berpegang pada manusia, kerana sesungguhnya mereka tidak layak untuk dijadikan pegangan dan sandaran dalam menyelesaikan urusan Allah SWT.
I randomly picked a book from a pile on my dining table. It was La Tahzan. When I read what was written, I knew Allah had sent me a message.
jadilah wanita yang selalu bersyukur ketika senang dan bersabar ketika tertimpa musibah. jangan bermimpi hidup di alam khayalan, yang tidak ada sakit, tidak ada kemiskinan, tidak ada kesedihan, suami yang tanpa cela dan teman tanpa aib. perkara seperti ini tidak akan tercapai selamanya.
oleh itu, pejamkanlah pandangan anda terhadap perkara2 yang negatif, kekeliruan dan kesalahan yg dilakukan oleh orang lain dan tujukanlah pandangan anda hanya pada sisi2 positif lagi baik yang ada pada mereka. tetaplah anda berbaik sangka, berpura2 tidak mengerti dan berpegang teguh hanya pada Allah. jangan sampai anda berpegang pada manusia, kerana sesungguhnya mereka tidak layak untuk dijadikan pegangan dan sandaran dalam menyelesaikan urusan Allah SWT.
Thank goodness I kept my mouth shut. And I know that I won't be opening it to utter whatever I wanted to utter any time soon. I hope never to do it at all.
In hindsight, it's actually a blessing. Although I have a mild temperament, my words do tend to sting pretty bad when I let them loose. I'm not known to lose my temper....which actually makes it worse. Because whatever I say, it would be something I've mulled through and through...and decided that I will take all repercussions for saying it.
It's not about being right. It's about understanding a person's circumstances. It's about "berbaik sangka" even when I know that she loves putting people down. She's just a victim of her emotions, a product of her upbringing. I'm better off making dua for her than than reprimanding her.
She's not all bad. But I'm devilish enough to wish that she'd get a severe sore throat for the next two months...so she won't be able to utter a sound...not even a squeak! Yea...my bad!! I know...I know....berbaik sangka, berlapang dada......astaghfirullahalazim.....
Wednesday 19 September 2012
Kay's call for biscuits.....
Kay, a dedicated volunteer for Muslim aid, sent out a call for the humble "biskut" just a short while back. Dia habaq kids selalu tanya the volunteers if depa ada bawa biskut when these fellas go visiting. Kesian pula dengaq.
It didn't cross my mind that the humble "biskut lemak/marie/butang/jam" etc would be a likely [and much appreciated] contribution. I guess I'm guilty of assuming that these kids would desire more or less the same stuff that my "cucu"[s] are wont to want ie Barbie dolls, fire trucks, colour pencils, colouring books...you get the drift....It brings to mind Maslow Hierarchy of Needs...all these kids want are those found on the bottom-most tier. Not oreos, Marks & Sparks Butter cookies and the like. Not Tutti Frutti, M&M, strawberries, yoghurt drinks. All they want is just plain old "biskut kati".
And I realised how much we take our lifestyles for granted. How we sometimes feel that we're not privileged. And the countless times kita kata taraf hidup kita ini biasa-biasa aje. Yang biasa bagi kita, kaya bagi mereka!
...langsung terkedu dan muhasabah diri....
It didn't cross my mind that the humble "biskut lemak/marie/butang/jam" etc would be a likely [and much appreciated] contribution. I guess I'm guilty of assuming that these kids would desire more or less the same stuff that my "cucu"[s] are wont to want ie Barbie dolls, fire trucks, colour pencils, colouring books...you get the drift....It brings to mind Maslow Hierarchy of Needs...all these kids want are those found on the bottom-most tier. Not oreos, Marks & Sparks Butter cookies and the like. Not Tutti Frutti, M&M, strawberries, yoghurt drinks. All they want is just plain old "biskut kati".
And I realised how much we take our lifestyles for granted. How we sometimes feel that we're not privileged. And the countless times kita kata taraf hidup kita ini biasa-biasa aje. Yang biasa bagi kita, kaya bagi mereka!
...langsung terkedu dan muhasabah diri....
Friday 14 September 2012
Lets Light Up Their Lives...with the Braille Quran
Several situations scare the living daylights out of me - losing my eyesight, caught in a fire, drowning, to name a few. I can't imagine being blind. I'm an avid reader whose days are mostly spent reading some kind of book/blog. I can go without sleep and food when I'm "into" a good book.
Recently a friend brought the Braille Quran Initiative [http://www.facebook.com/braillequran] to my attention. It was a hard slap to my face. I have several Qurans and its translations. I'm embarrassed to admit that I have yet to finish reading a translation in its entirety. And here are my fellow Muslims DYING to get a chance to read the Quran and its translation. And here I am...so lackadaisical about it all - devouring the Quran only during Ramadhan....with sporadic forays during the other months.
Did I ever think about the blind Muslims in particular? No! I'm guilty of thinking of the blind as a collective group of unfortunate people whom I would donate to when our paths crossed. I don't think I've ever turned away a blind person without digging into my purse. And I'm not about to do so now! My purse may be not as "deep" as before...but I have many generous friends....insyaallah. Together, I'm certain we could make a difference and contribute toward lighting the lives of our fellow Muslim blind umah.
They need Braille Quran, Muqaddam, Yaseen. They need Talking [audio] Books. The Quran is RM240 each while the Muqaddam and Yaseen is RM12 each. Lets dig into our purses and sponsor them. Lets also "sponsor" our time as readers for the Talking Books and the Quran Translation projects.
Lets do this....for them...and also for us. LETS!
Recently a friend brought the Braille Quran Initiative [http://www.facebook.com/braillequran] to my attention. It was a hard slap to my face. I have several Qurans and its translations. I'm embarrassed to admit that I have yet to finish reading a translation in its entirety. And here are my fellow Muslims DYING to get a chance to read the Quran and its translation. And here I am...so lackadaisical about it all - devouring the Quran only during Ramadhan....with sporadic forays during the other months.
Did I ever think about the blind Muslims in particular? No! I'm guilty of thinking of the blind as a collective group of unfortunate people whom I would donate to when our paths crossed. I don't think I've ever turned away a blind person without digging into my purse. And I'm not about to do so now! My purse may be not as "deep" as before...but I have many generous friends....insyaallah. Together, I'm certain we could make a difference and contribute toward lighting the lives of our fellow Muslim blind umah.
They need Braille Quran, Muqaddam, Yaseen. They need Talking [audio] Books. The Quran is RM240 each while the Muqaddam and Yaseen is RM12 each. Lets dig into our purses and sponsor them. Lets also "sponsor" our time as readers for the Talking Books and the Quran Translation projects.
Lets do this....for them...and also for us. LETS!
Monday 3 September 2012
KEMA...kudos, mate!
Kema achieved the impossible...getting 30 of TKC77 to attend her raya gathering at Sri Medan. It must be the "military" in her. Guests arrived as early as 10am...and kept coming till late afternoon. Kudos to you, Kema!! And a million thanks for having us in your home - to the detriment of your reputation ;)
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See how happy we were.........
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It was great to see Ric and a couple of others whom I have not met since we left school. I must admit that if I had met you elsewhere, I would NOT have recognised you! :)
Lets hope we can meet again under happy circumstances. Love you girls xoxo
Friday 31 August 2012
I HATE carpets.....
I like LOOKING at carpets...in other people's spaces. I absolutely HATE having them all over MY home. Okay, I'm exaggerating. I do like carpets to cover cold cement floors. Also for providing a soft landing for my old, old knees. So SMALL carpets that are not too thick are fine with me. The sort that doesn't require strenuous vacuuming are really, absolutely, decidedly fine with me. I could live with that.
Why am I ranting? I've just moved into the little flat behind mum's huge home...and looking at this 6'x9' carpet that came with the flat. The carpet that is hiding the faux wooden floor. I'm wondering if I should just roll it up and store it...somewhere. Any where OUTSIDE my flat. I really don't care!
I've lived with carpets for far too long. Mum has a soft spot for them. My sis adores them. And since I live with them, I have no choice but to tolerate them carpets. There are antique Persian ones, contemporary Persian ones, and many others whose origins I don't even know (or care for that matter). They are all over the house - on the floor, up the walls...thank goodness there are none on the ceiling! If not for the fact that we're predisposed to wet bathrooms, I'm sure there'll be carpets there, too.
On the plus side, should anyone die on us at No 30, we could easily roll you up in a nice carpet should we be unable to get "tikar mengkuang" ;)
Why am I ranting? I've just moved into the little flat behind mum's huge home...and looking at this 6'x9' carpet that came with the flat. The carpet that is hiding the faux wooden floor. I'm wondering if I should just roll it up and store it...somewhere. Any where OUTSIDE my flat. I really don't care!
I've lived with carpets for far too long. Mum has a soft spot for them. My sis adores them. And since I live with them, I have no choice but to tolerate them carpets. There are antique Persian ones, contemporary Persian ones, and many others whose origins I don't even know (or care for that matter). They are all over the house - on the floor, up the walls...thank goodness there are none on the ceiling! If not for the fact that we're predisposed to wet bathrooms, I'm sure there'll be carpets there, too.
On the plus side, should anyone die on us at No 30, we could easily roll you up in a nice carpet should we be unable to get "tikar mengkuang" ;)
Monday 4 June 2012
apa guna tua....
apa guna tua
hanya pada usia
jika kematangan tiada
apa guna tua
jika kurang ilmunya
tipis amalan yang diredha
apa guna tua
jika hanya berleka
menunggu padam usia
apa guna tua
jika mati hatinya
buta semua deria
apa guna tua
jika hanya bernafas
untuk hidup penuh alpa
apa guna tua
jika untuk memburu yang tak berguna
hanya untuk selesa dunia
apa guna tua
jika tidak mampu mendidik diri
cukup bersahaja dengan zuriatnya
apa guna tua
jika tidak mahu berubah
tidak mahu berusaha mencari redhaNya
apa guna hidup lama
jika hanya untuk makan, minum, bersuka
menghabiskan usia sambil lewa.........
tete-a-tete...dengan sahabat :)
It's been a long while since we last chatted over a cup of coffee. Yea...I missed you much! You...who have always been there....
This time I was different - at least attire-wise....hahaha....but to you I'm still the same girl you went through college with. We had our moments ya! Those poor days in college...those poor days when we first worked. The days when we had maybe RM20 between us...yet it was still enough to fill the tank, to enjoy nasi ayam and drinks for two and still have about RM2 left for a small pack of ciggies....[and you always swiped my ciggies!!].
But we were pretty happy being poor. There was always laughter and such strong appreciation for whatever we could afford with our RM20. It became a game for us to see what we could eat after RM5 or RM10 was spent on petrol...there was always the RM2 nasi ayam to fall back on! And that makcik would give us extra big portions just because she liked the way we smiled....hahaha....
You used to call me "panglima" because of my "bahasa tersurat" ie my straight talking style. And I called you "dato bendahara" for your utterly "berlapik" mode of speech - we had such different personalities! The number of times you went, "takpe, takpe, Ijan...biar I yang cakap kat dia" because you knew I'd wreak havoc with my straight talking ways...hahaha...
We couldn't meet as often when we had "big" jobs - what with our travelling schedule and also our respective family obligations. However, we would be there for each other in spirit. We knew all about each other's family - births, deaths, marriages, divorces, ailments, kids, spouses, work bla bla bla....
The funny thing was we were never interested in each other romantically - it was pure friendship right from the start. And it blossomed into "sahabat"-ship. I love you my "sahabat"....and I know, without a doubt, how much I'm loved in return :)
Semoga kita bersahabat juga di jannah....insyaallah...... :)
This time I was different - at least attire-wise....hahaha....but to you I'm still the same girl you went through college with. We had our moments ya! Those poor days in college...those poor days when we first worked. The days when we had maybe RM20 between us...yet it was still enough to fill the tank, to enjoy nasi ayam and drinks for two and still have about RM2 left for a small pack of ciggies....[and you always swiped my ciggies!!].
But we were pretty happy being poor. There was always laughter and such strong appreciation for whatever we could afford with our RM20. It became a game for us to see what we could eat after RM5 or RM10 was spent on petrol...there was always the RM2 nasi ayam to fall back on! And that makcik would give us extra big portions just because she liked the way we smiled....hahaha....
You used to call me "panglima" because of my "bahasa tersurat" ie my straight talking style. And I called you "dato bendahara" for your utterly "berlapik" mode of speech - we had such different personalities! The number of times you went, "takpe, takpe, Ijan...biar I yang cakap kat dia" because you knew I'd wreak havoc with my straight talking ways...hahaha...
We couldn't meet as often when we had "big" jobs - what with our travelling schedule and also our respective family obligations. However, we would be there for each other in spirit. We knew all about each other's family - births, deaths, marriages, divorces, ailments, kids, spouses, work bla bla bla....
The funny thing was we were never interested in each other romantically - it was pure friendship right from the start. And it blossomed into "sahabat"-ship. I love you my "sahabat"....and I know, without a doubt, how much I'm loved in return :)
Semoga kita bersahabat juga di jannah....insyaallah...... :)
Thursday 24 May 2012
Aku & Amanah
AKU & AMANAH
sesungguhnya aku ingin...
meniti dijalan sunnah
berteduh di dalam jemaah
tapi aku masih..
termangu mencari arah
mengubat hati bernanah
sesungguhnya aku ingin..
berjuang menegak kalimah
berjihad berkorban darah
tapi aku masih..
dibuai mimpi indah
terbaring bak insan lemah
sesungguhnya aku ingin..
taat menjunjung segala perintah
menggenggam tanggungjawab sebagai khalifah
tapi aku masih..
mengabdi nafsu serakah
menurut kehendak dunia yang parah
sesungguhnya aku ingin..
berpaut pada hidayah
menyingkap tabir makrifah
tapi aku masih..
ditipu akal yang mentah
lemas di lautan fitnah
namun hanya padaMu tempat ku berserah...
hilangkan dariku segala mazmumah
tunjukkan padaku jalan yang cerah
kurniakan padaku hati yang tabah
tetapkan diriku dalam syahadah
kekalkan nafasku dalam ibadah
hulurkan padaku tali istiqamah
pautkan untukku ikatan ukhuwah
hangatkan jiwaku dengan selimut mujahadah
kerana sesungguhnya aku terlalu ingin..
hujung nafasku husnul khatimah
kembali padamu dengan sakinah
bertemu kekasihMU didalam Jannah..
- HambaNya yang fakir -
Hafiz.
Sunday 22 April 2012
ups...and downs....
at times i feel like i'm drunk
gingerly putting one foot in front of the other
walking the line is often tough.....
eyes closed, head spinning
my mind a whirlpool
making sleep impossible!
and there are times when i feel i can fly
flapping my wings without feathers
floating gracefully in the sky
floating in the wind, floating in the wind.......
but what i really want, really really want
is to step firmly on this hallowed ground
yet feel like i'm floating, floating
high up in the sky........
Sunday 8 April 2012
of deaths & friendships...
Last night I went with a couple of friends to visit a friend whose mother passed on earlier in the afternoon. Another reminder at how fragile life is. You just DON'T know when your time is up. The three of us ended up at Satay Station later for a very late dinner. It was more of an excuse to touch base with our thoughts and feelings.
I absolutely love these friends of mine. I trust them. I KNOW they'll always prop me up and be my cheerleaders when I need cheerleaders to help me get on with life. THANK YOU guys....you know who you are :)
I'M BLESSED!! Thank you ya Allah!
I absolutely love these friends of mine. I trust them. I KNOW they'll always prop me up and be my cheerleaders when I need cheerleaders to help me get on with life. THANK YOU guys....you know who you are :)
I'M BLESSED!! Thank you ya Allah!
Thursday 22 March 2012
Nikmat
Nikmat
Mata yang melihat
mulut yang bercakap
akal yang sihat
tulang yang tegap
kaki yang menongkat
sempurna segala sifat
apakah belum cukup nikmat?
sampai begitu angkuh untuk taat
apakah bukan nikmat?
sehingga hati ditutup rapat
mari mengingat
sebelum ditarik rahmat
mari mengingat
sebelum nafas disekat
mari mengingat
sebelum ajal mendekat
mari mengingat
sebelum nesan mengambil tempat
maut tidak bersyarat
mustahil ditolak walau sesaat
.......:kufur nikmat..bunyinya berat...namun mudah "ter"buat... :)
"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?? " - diulang2 dalam surah Ar-Rahman -
Monday 12 March 2012
TKC 77 - Kita Bertemu....
Dari remaja kita bersama
Ada yang karib, ada yang tidak
Kemudian berpisah.....lama....
Masing-masing melayan rentak
yang berbeza-beza...merata-rata...
Kini kita kembali bersatu
Masing-masing melepas rindu
Perangai dulu, perangai baru
Makin dimamah usia makin mesra
Dulu rakan, kini saudara
Yang dulu renggang kini akrab
Yang dulu akrab ada yang lesap
tidak mahu bersuara...bisu, senyap...
Kali ini kita bertemu lagi
Terasa sayu, ada yang sudah pergi
Pergi yang tak mungkin kembali lagi
Terasa pilu di hati ini...
Entah bila kita bisa begini lagi
Dalam suka masih ada sendu
kerana.....mana tahu....
mungkin ini kali akhir kita bertemu :)
Looking forward to seeing you girls on Thursday....insyaallah xoxo
Thursday 1 March 2012
if we could beget stuff from dem fairytales.......
Almost all of us grew up reading about Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, The Frog Prince etc. Now, just imagine if we could get some of those magic "gadgets" or the service of fairy godmothers to make our wishes come true....or if we behaved like the characters of the heroes & heroines....
- magic mirrors spewing platitudes like "you're the hottest/sexiest/prettiest/handsomest/hunkiest of them all would be a sell-out
- glass slippers would be cool to wear albeit a little fragile...and you'll get brands from Bata right up to Jimmy Choo
- fairy godmothers would be busy conjuring up ballgowns for prom nights/award nights/annual dinners....
- witches would be in demand for potions to put "competitors" to sleep
- mice would be turned into Ferraris/Porches/Lamborghinis/BMWs/Mercedes or whatever wheels of the moment; they're handy to be turned into chauffeurs too!
- magic carpets would get us to faraway places in no time
- magic lamps would be pretty cool too...even if the genie only gives us 3 wishes
- "grow tall/grow short" portions would be pretty handy...I mean, if we put on weight, all we need to do to look good is to just grow a little taller...and all will be well
- noone would have to work if they got their hands on the goose which lay the golden egg
- who would not wish to own a magic wand!
- and girls would fall madly in love with beasts (emm...this has happened to a certain extent ;) )
- girls would listen to their mums just like good Little Red Riding Hood...and they'll not fall into the clutches of big bad wolves...nor would they accept apples from strangers
- childless couples would get thumb-sized little girls to care for
- you would instantly know when someone is lying just by observing his nose
- just chant "abracadabra" when you need to "create" something - like turn that lopsided cake into a beautiful gateau.......
Wednesday 22 February 2012
RUKUNEGARA.....???
Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan
Kesetiaan Kepada Raja Dan Negara
Keluhuran Perlembagaan
Kedaulatan Undang-undang
Kesopanan Dan Kesusilaan
I have consumed loaves of Gardenia bread. Have been buying this since it was first introduced into our market. But it was only yesterday that I noticed that the Rukunegara is printed on its wrapper. Hmmm...goes to show how observant I am!!
It got me thinking that almost everything that the Rukunegara embraces has eroded over the years. It was introduced when I was in primary school. I remember having to memorise it since we had to chant it during Monday morning assembly. The teachers probably explained it to us but it meant nothing to us then because everyone I knew had a religion albeit different, kings and sultans were just...well...kings and sultans and had no impact on our young lives, we didn't know anything about "perlembagaan" and "undang-undang" except for the ones enforced on us at home and at school, and most of us were polite and courteous to each other.
We didn't have 1Malaysia. Instead we had "Muhibbah" - there was a song to go along with that:
Muhibbah Muhibbah
Itulah amalan kita semua
Muhibbah Muhibbah
Sejak sedari zaman purbakala
Tunaikanlah ikrar
Satu nusa satu bangsa merdeka
Satu loghat dan satu suara
Dalam Malaysia jaya
Junjung tinggi cita-cita bangsa
Hormatilah perlembagaanya
Marilah kita berganding tangan
Hapuskanlah jurang perbezaan
Muhibbah Muhibbah
Gema bersatu padu satu bangsa
Negarakan makmur bahagia
Dalam Malaysia jaya
If you remember this song then you're definitely my peer! Had to sing this at Monday morning assembly, too, aside from Negaraku and the Selangor state song (there was no Wilayah Persekutuan then). We sure did a lot of singing then it seems. And we were very "muhibbah". My closest friends were Yuhanis Yusoff, Bhajan Kaur and Cheah Yew Sim...definitely the epitome of "muhibbah". We also had civic lessons to further enforce the "kesopanan dan kesusilaan". We didn't define people by race. People were just people and there were those who were different from us in terms of culture etc but we were okay...no big deal. In fact, we couldn't tell the rich kids from the less privileged - it didn't bother us one whit anyway. Friends were friends and foes were foes...all very personal...it had nothing to do with family background, social status etc. Life was a lot simpler then.
Now religion (or lack off) is a big issue. Everyone's screaming at each other...those with faith of some sort, agnostics, atheists and variations of these. Everyone wants to be heard and almost noone wants to listen. Many scream insults at each other endlessly....sigh....Now we have racism. People just don't trust and respect each other much anymore. And they also don't trust the "keluhuran perlembagaan". People pooh-pooh the "kedaulatan undang-undang". "Kesetiaan Kepada Raja Dan Negara" is also passe by the look of things. And many agree that there is a serious lack of "kesopanan dan kesusilaan".....big sigh....
No wonder our Malaysia is no longer "rukun"............
Friday 17 February 2012
bukan senang nak jadi baik....2
I remember mak's "rules" on fights/bickerings for us siblings:
1. no shouting/raised voices
2. no physical abuse
3. no bad words. In mak's case, labelling someone as "bodoh" is considered "bad".
Imagine trying to fight with these rules strictly enforced!! So we got pretty good at being sarcastic as in applying "bahasa berkias", witty and putting a sweet face on when throwing insults. I didn't realise how useful this training was until I reached adulthood. Due to this, we siblings hardly bickered as it wasn't "fun". The neighbours were always amazed at mak's ability to "keep the peace" in our home with at least 4 boys there to wrought havoc. And mak made sure we applied these rules out of the home, too. My brothers broke these rules at times but we girls NEVER did...because mak always reminded us that, "Perempuan tak bercakap kasar. Betina aja yang macam tu". This and bapa's constant reminder to "jaga niat" shaped my personality to a large extent.
I have a fiery nature and never turned down a fight as a kid. Despite the long hair and angelic look, I was even more of a boy than my brother who is a year older than me. I was the one tasked with clambering over the school gate to wake up the guard for one. To this day, I marvel at the fact that I never once got hurt by the barbed wires placed on top of the school gate...not even a little nick! But, no matter how hard I fought with the boys, I didn't call them names or spew expletives. And I NEVER fight with the girls....so much so I became their "saviour" when they got teased by the boys. I also became every shy/timid/nerd boy's best friend.
These characteristics served me well in my adult life. I learnt to be patient most times...sempat beristighfar dulu sebelum menjawab...and to walk away from mindless arguments. Whenever I needed to put my stand across, I just do it rationally. I didn't care much if I had support - I just said whatever needed to be said. Those closest to me know that if they want an honest opinion, they're likely to get it from me. I learnt to listen and feel. For some reason, I'm blessed with this ability to "feel". And I easily accept people's opinions even if I don't agree. It doesn't mean I'll follow though - and this gave rise to a lot of misunderstandings between me and my peers. Many assumed that my agreement came along with my acceptance! It took a while for them to accept that "acceptance" doesn't mean "agree" and to adopt the mantra "agree to disagree".
Bapa's "jaga niat" advice certainly served me well...then...and now. I had to work at keeping my niat "clean and pure" so to speak. NOT EASY for this fiery soul! The number of times I bit my tongue, walked away from heated moments, bowed down to "opposing" forces, maintained an unwavering smile when I felt like spitting in someone's face...so much so that some labelled me spineless, coward etc. "You ni mengalah sangat! Apasal you tak cakap aje kat dia...", was something I heard time and time again. But this "mengalah tapi tak bermakna kalah" was what kept the sillaturrahim. As time passed, this statement became intertwined with, "You ni malaikat hiduplah". Huh...me...malaikat??? Nope...there were times when my "baser" side got the better of me...when my daughters were unjustly insulted was one occassion. The person learnt to never do that again!
How did I tame my natural instinct to insult someone back for instance? I wrote letters...in which I poured my feelings and emotions. I literally emptied all my emotions into these letters until I felt relieved. And then I smiled and burnt these letters...and all is well again. I cried if I had to cry. I jogged, swam, cycled to expend my negative energy. Thank goodness I never felt the urge to binge! Food was never in the equation as I was brought up to view food with reverence. Food is meant to be savoured and "tasted" and appreciated. So I don't eat well when I'm angry/depressed etc.
So the face I presented to the world was, oftentimes, a happy one. Many thought that I didn't have a care in this life. Many said, "I wish I were you - no problems, always smiling". Many also said, "Oh, you wouldn't know how bad life is. You've never been tested". And these statements were, oftentimes, from folks who didn't want to know about me. And I would leave it at that. I'd even stop well-intentioned close buddies from telling them about my life's experiences. As far as I'm concerned, it's not important that others know. I learnt to hide my sufferings...only talking to God or the very few close friends (and that, too, when prompted).
God...Allah...is always present in my life although I wasn't diligent in my prayers etc. I was always talking to Him. He is my best buddy...the only one I trust to listen well, to not judge me harshly, to give me guidance, to help me at all times, to always know the real me...I converse, write, rant about whatever irks me just with Him....because I know He knows me better than anyone or even I know myself. Every time I needed an answer, He gave it to me. His ways may be unexpected at times...but He always answers me. There was this one time when I wanted to know about 3 things. I wrote myself a note to check on these when I had some free time. Within hours, a friend called up to invite me to an usrah. Normally, I would say no to this friend but on this occassion I said yes immediately - without thinking actually. So there I was at this crowded hall. We were told to write down our queries and to pass it on to this person tasked with collecting them. I wrote down mine but for some reason, I didn't pass it on. Imagine my surprise when 2 folks asked the very questions in my mind. What was even more surprising was noone asked about the third matter that I had in mind, but the ustaz actually talked about it! Hence, my 3 queries were answered! This sort of thing happened many, many times in my life...and is still happening to this day.....
[...to be continued...]
1. no shouting/raised voices
2. no physical abuse
3. no bad words. In mak's case, labelling someone as "bodoh" is considered "bad".
Imagine trying to fight with these rules strictly enforced!! So we got pretty good at being sarcastic as in applying "bahasa berkias", witty and putting a sweet face on when throwing insults. I didn't realise how useful this training was until I reached adulthood. Due to this, we siblings hardly bickered as it wasn't "fun". The neighbours were always amazed at mak's ability to "keep the peace" in our home with at least 4 boys there to wrought havoc. And mak made sure we applied these rules out of the home, too. My brothers broke these rules at times but we girls NEVER did...because mak always reminded us that, "Perempuan tak bercakap kasar. Betina aja yang macam tu". This and bapa's constant reminder to "jaga niat" shaped my personality to a large extent.
I have a fiery nature and never turned down a fight as a kid. Despite the long hair and angelic look, I was even more of a boy than my brother who is a year older than me. I was the one tasked with clambering over the school gate to wake up the guard for one. To this day, I marvel at the fact that I never once got hurt by the barbed wires placed on top of the school gate...not even a little nick! But, no matter how hard I fought with the boys, I didn't call them names or spew expletives. And I NEVER fight with the girls....so much so I became their "saviour" when they got teased by the boys. I also became every shy/timid/nerd boy's best friend.
These characteristics served me well in my adult life. I learnt to be patient most times...sempat beristighfar dulu sebelum menjawab...and to walk away from mindless arguments. Whenever I needed to put my stand across, I just do it rationally. I didn't care much if I had support - I just said whatever needed to be said. Those closest to me know that if they want an honest opinion, they're likely to get it from me. I learnt to listen and feel. For some reason, I'm blessed with this ability to "feel". And I easily accept people's opinions even if I don't agree. It doesn't mean I'll follow though - and this gave rise to a lot of misunderstandings between me and my peers. Many assumed that my agreement came along with my acceptance! It took a while for them to accept that "acceptance" doesn't mean "agree" and to adopt the mantra "agree to disagree".
Bapa's "jaga niat" advice certainly served me well...then...and now. I had to work at keeping my niat "clean and pure" so to speak. NOT EASY for this fiery soul! The number of times I bit my tongue, walked away from heated moments, bowed down to "opposing" forces, maintained an unwavering smile when I felt like spitting in someone's face...so much so that some labelled me spineless, coward etc. "You ni mengalah sangat! Apasal you tak cakap aje kat dia...", was something I heard time and time again. But this "mengalah tapi tak bermakna kalah" was what kept the sillaturrahim. As time passed, this statement became intertwined with, "You ni malaikat hiduplah". Huh...me...malaikat??? Nope...there were times when my "baser" side got the better of me...when my daughters were unjustly insulted was one occassion. The person learnt to never do that again!
How did I tame my natural instinct to insult someone back for instance? I wrote letters...in which I poured my feelings and emotions. I literally emptied all my emotions into these letters until I felt relieved. And then I smiled and burnt these letters...and all is well again. I cried if I had to cry. I jogged, swam, cycled to expend my negative energy. Thank goodness I never felt the urge to binge! Food was never in the equation as I was brought up to view food with reverence. Food is meant to be savoured and "tasted" and appreciated. So I don't eat well when I'm angry/depressed etc.
So the face I presented to the world was, oftentimes, a happy one. Many thought that I didn't have a care in this life. Many said, "I wish I were you - no problems, always smiling". Many also said, "Oh, you wouldn't know how bad life is. You've never been tested". And these statements were, oftentimes, from folks who didn't want to know about me. And I would leave it at that. I'd even stop well-intentioned close buddies from telling them about my life's experiences. As far as I'm concerned, it's not important that others know. I learnt to hide my sufferings...only talking to God or the very few close friends (and that, too, when prompted).
God...Allah...is always present in my life although I wasn't diligent in my prayers etc. I was always talking to Him. He is my best buddy...the only one I trust to listen well, to not judge me harshly, to give me guidance, to help me at all times, to always know the real me...I converse, write, rant about whatever irks me just with Him....because I know He knows me better than anyone or even I know myself. Every time I needed an answer, He gave it to me. His ways may be unexpected at times...but He always answers me. There was this one time when I wanted to know about 3 things. I wrote myself a note to check on these when I had some free time. Within hours, a friend called up to invite me to an usrah. Normally, I would say no to this friend but on this occassion I said yes immediately - without thinking actually. So there I was at this crowded hall. We were told to write down our queries and to pass it on to this person tasked with collecting them. I wrote down mine but for some reason, I didn't pass it on. Imagine my surprise when 2 folks asked the very questions in my mind. What was even more surprising was noone asked about the third matter that I had in mind, but the ustaz actually talked about it! Hence, my 3 queries were answered! This sort of thing happened many, many times in my life...and is still happening to this day.....
[...to be continued...]
Wednesday 15 February 2012
Jom tolong..
Sama-samalah kita berdoa untuk kemenangan saudara-saudara kita di Syria yang sedang bangun menentang rejim Basyar Asad..Semoga Allah melindungi pejuang2 yang berjuang di jalanNya..Allahuakbar!
Kepada Saudara-saudara kami di Syria :
Sesungguhnya air mata kalian adalah air mata kami..
darah-darah kalian adalah darah-darah kami..
darah anak-anak kalian adalah darah anak-anak kami..
para syuhada kalian adalah syuhada-syuhada kami..
dan sekecil-kecil pertolongan kami kepada kalian adalah doa-doa kami..
Ya Allah, Engkau berikanlah kemenangan kepada saudara-saudara kami di Syria..
berikanlah kekuatan kepada mereka untuk menjatuhkan rejim yang telah menindas hak-hak mereka..
berikanlah kekuatan kepada mereka untuk menebus kematian anak-anak mereka..
dan berikanlah semangat kepada mereka untuk meninggikan kalimahMu, Ya Allah..
Amin
Kita yang berkata..
Kita yang berkata
sebahagian kita....
duduknya bersilang kaki
di tempat kononnya bertaraf tinggi
meneguk air emas,berbakul disaji
lalu bangkit,hanyut di lantai tari
kata mereka..
"sekadar entertain client,demi sesuap nasi"
hukum diletak tepi.....
sebahagian kita
gayanya seperti puteri
kononnya model sana sini
berpakaian seksi ,walaupun nama berbinti
anehnya ada yang bernama "siti"
awalan suci isteri nabi
agak terasa mencuit hati
tapi kata mereka..
"ini semua fesyen terkini , kamu jangan busy body"
syariat dipandang sepi....
sebahagian kita
perempuan dijadikan koleksi
usia separuh abad masih mencari geli
kehulu kehilir berkepit,umpama muda-mudi
sedang dirumah empat anak,seorang isteri
kata mereka..
"lelaki tak cukup hanya dengan bini"
mereka lupa halalnya poligami...
sebahagian kita
berjiwa besar,bercita tinggi
ingin menjadi doktor atau menteri
rajin menelaah layak ke universiti
Alhamdulillah,hingga sampai ke luar negeri
namun kembali lesap identiti
budaya baru memusnah pekerti
kata mereka..
"this is hippie , you don't know??orang kampung is so funny"
budaya sendiri diperli...
sebahagian kita
bermesyuarat sebulan sekali
katanya masalah sekitar menjadi isi
rupanya kerana kepentingan sendiri
berebut tender untuk kroni
kemungkaran tidak lagi dipeduli
pusat maksiat subur disirami
mereka lupa, kewajipan itu tidak berparti
kata mereka..
"halal haram bukannya disini , kena melihat kepada realiti"
tiada lagi islamisasi....
sebahagian kita
hidup diatas kaki sendiri
sekadar mencukupi setiap hari
buang segala agenda peribadi
tidak pernah mengadu simpati
juga tiada gundah di hati
kata mereka..
"yang penting iman & taqwa dijaga rapi..insyaAllah adalah rezeki"
hamba sejati...
sebahagian kita
rumah ibadat masa diisi
seluruh anggota menyembah ilahi
tidak hanya berzikir mengaji
sentiasa berpegang pada janji
tanya mereka..
"bukankah kita semua akan mati?menunggu masa untuk diadili?"
Astaghfirullah...sesungguhnya kita semua telah bersaksi!
- Bukan sekadar nukilan dari ilusi...Buka mata lihatlah realiti... -
Sunday 12 February 2012
bukan senang nak jadi baik....1
I came across this statement during one of my forays into Malay novels. How true this statement is! "Baik" encompasses everything - thoughts, actions, outlook, physical appearance...and the list goes on. Being human isn't easy. We are bombarded and, at times, overwhelmed by our emotions. Emotions that are further influenced by the physical world of advertisements, cultural mores, social expectations, family pressures etc.
It certainly is NOT easy to be "baik"! During my years in the corporate world, I was expected to look, act and perform in a certain prescribed manner befitting my position in the organisation. Being a woman in a man's world wasn't a smooth ride. Although I was at the same level as my male colleagues, I couldn't afford to speak or act like them - although there were many occassions when I would have loved to stick my middle finger in front of their faces! Being one of only two women at that level , the other a non-Muslim, made it imperative that I act and speak carefully. We were constantly observed. And I can just imagine the "locker room talk". Don't be fooled...men also have this predilection to bitch and label - at times, even worse than women!
And the "come-ons" I get from the males...both within and without the organisation...sigh...It brings to mind something told to me by a friend, "lelaki ni macam kucing - walaupun dah kenyang, kalau ada lauk kat depan dia, dia tetap akan sniff". And "sniff" they did. So it's up to the women to hold on to their principles - to not be swayed by the sweet murmurings...especially if you don't look like the back of a dirty bus. I socialised with my male colleagues to the very bare minimum after office hours, usually swimming with the few "safe" ones. The corporate world offers myriad temptations to shake your iman, particularly if you keep long hours at the office. You see the same faces, eat, talk, work and hang around them a lot longer than you do with your family - made even worse when you have to travel a fair bit for work.
Add this to "the grass is always greener on the other side" and one has a recipe for emotional disaster. You come home tired. Your spouse comes home tired. Your children got tired of waiting up for you. Both you and spouse are too tired to talk or do much of anything else. Home becomes just a place to rest all our collective weary heads. pfffft!! If you're like me who became a "janda" (yea...THAT word) at a relatively young age, then you're open to a different kind of temptation and bias. You're suddenly deemed dangerous, exciting, attractive, sluttish...depending on who is looking at you. In my case, proposals (indecent and otherwise) abounded. I was spoilt for choice ***rolling eyes***. I kept my cool and surrounded myself with people I trusted.
I'm no angel...and I'm far from being one now. But I, too, yearn to be "baik"...before I meet my maker. I used to observe the "baik" folks around me - those who accepted me warts and all. They contributed to my holding on to my principles all these years. They didn't label me and never tire of egging me on - in their own unique ways. As the years passed, this wanting-to-be-baik urge got stronger. I quit doing many activities I used to do mindlessly. I turned to inner reflection a lot more, a lot longer. I prayed for salvation.
And you know what? Allah always gives you what you want - at least that's how I feel.... :)
[to be continued...]
It certainly is NOT easy to be "baik"! During my years in the corporate world, I was expected to look, act and perform in a certain prescribed manner befitting my position in the organisation. Being a woman in a man's world wasn't a smooth ride. Although I was at the same level as my male colleagues, I couldn't afford to speak or act like them - although there were many occassions when I would have loved to stick my middle finger in front of their faces! Being one of only two women at that level , the other a non-Muslim, made it imperative that I act and speak carefully. We were constantly observed. And I can just imagine the "locker room talk". Don't be fooled...men also have this predilection to bitch and label - at times, even worse than women!
And the "come-ons" I get from the males...both within and without the organisation...sigh...It brings to mind something told to me by a friend, "lelaki ni macam kucing - walaupun dah kenyang, kalau ada lauk kat depan dia, dia tetap akan sniff". And "sniff" they did. So it's up to the women to hold on to their principles - to not be swayed by the sweet murmurings...especially if you don't look like the back of a dirty bus. I socialised with my male colleagues to the very bare minimum after office hours, usually swimming with the few "safe" ones. The corporate world offers myriad temptations to shake your iman, particularly if you keep long hours at the office. You see the same faces, eat, talk, work and hang around them a lot longer than you do with your family - made even worse when you have to travel a fair bit for work.
Add this to "the grass is always greener on the other side" and one has a recipe for emotional disaster. You come home tired. Your spouse comes home tired. Your children got tired of waiting up for you. Both you and spouse are too tired to talk or do much of anything else. Home becomes just a place to rest all our collective weary heads. pfffft!! If you're like me who became a "janda" (yea...THAT word) at a relatively young age, then you're open to a different kind of temptation and bias. You're suddenly deemed dangerous, exciting, attractive, sluttish...depending on who is looking at you. In my case, proposals (indecent and otherwise) abounded. I was spoilt for choice ***rolling eyes***. I kept my cool and surrounded myself with people I trusted.
I'm no angel...and I'm far from being one now. But I, too, yearn to be "baik"...before I meet my maker. I used to observe the "baik" folks around me - those who accepted me warts and all. They contributed to my holding on to my principles all these years. They didn't label me and never tire of egging me on - in their own unique ways. As the years passed, this wanting-to-be-baik urge got stronger. I quit doing many activities I used to do mindlessly. I turned to inner reflection a lot more, a lot longer. I prayed for salvation.
And you know what? Allah always gives you what you want - at least that's how I feel.... :)
[to be continued...]
Saturday 11 February 2012
why??? ....
There was a status update today which epitomises the general Muslim Malay mentality. It was a pic of a woman in tudung, some kind of clingy long pants - which was wet putting her underpants on public display. Okay...agreed that this young lady should have been more mindful of her attire. But that's another story...
The caption for the pic and the remarks from the viewers (all Malays and probably all Muslim if I were to go by their remarks) were what saddened me. EVERYONE had something derogatory to say EXCEPT for one sweet soul who cautioned them that this might be a canned pic. There were those who got on their mighty high horse to remark something like this, "itulah kalau tak tau agama..."....haish....
If the cameraman is a Muslim, then I would really love to knock him/her on the head - a hard knock! For the time it took to focus the camera, he/she could have walked up to the woman and told her of the embarrassing sight I would think. That would have been more "mulia"....kan....Ini tak...siap ambil gambar...THEN post pula on fb! Lepas tu bubuh caption yang mengaibkan....depicting the woman to be "bangang". Habis, kalau kita dah pandai sangat, awat tak kongsi ilmu kita tu?
Kita ni saudara sesama Islam. Apa yang memalukan saudara kita memalukan kita juga. Imagine if the same thing happens to a family member or friend. Mesti kita malu and sakit hati kan. Mesti kita sumpah seranah kat orang yang sampai hati bubuh gambar ni on a public networking site. Sama jugalah dengan si hamba Allah tu. Mesti dia malu. Mesti family dia, friends dia pun malu...and marah juga. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes sebelum membuat benda-benda macam ni.
To the cameraman, awak kata minah ni bangang. Then what do you call yourself when you broadcast "kebangangan" minah ni? A hero??? Tepuk dada tanya niat! If you're a guy, remember that you, too, have women in your family...to cherish, honour and protect. So try doing that to all the other women as well.....If you're a woman, then I wonder what you were thinking of when you allow a fellow sister to be humiliated....
The caption for the pic and the remarks from the viewers (all Malays and probably all Muslim if I were to go by their remarks) were what saddened me. EVERYONE had something derogatory to say EXCEPT for one sweet soul who cautioned them that this might be a canned pic. There were those who got on their mighty high horse to remark something like this, "itulah kalau tak tau agama..."....haish....
If the cameraman is a Muslim, then I would really love to knock him/her on the head - a hard knock! For the time it took to focus the camera, he/she could have walked up to the woman and told her of the embarrassing sight I would think. That would have been more "mulia"....kan....Ini tak...siap ambil gambar...THEN post pula on fb! Lepas tu bubuh caption yang mengaibkan....depicting the woman to be "bangang". Habis, kalau kita dah pandai sangat, awat tak kongsi ilmu kita tu?
Kita ni saudara sesama Islam. Apa yang memalukan saudara kita memalukan kita juga. Imagine if the same thing happens to a family member or friend. Mesti kita malu and sakit hati kan. Mesti kita sumpah seranah kat orang yang sampai hati bubuh gambar ni on a public networking site. Sama jugalah dengan si hamba Allah tu. Mesti dia malu. Mesti family dia, friends dia pun malu...and marah juga. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes sebelum membuat benda-benda macam ni.
To the cameraman, awak kata minah ni bangang. Then what do you call yourself when you broadcast "kebangangan" minah ni? A hero??? Tepuk dada tanya niat! If you're a guy, remember that you, too, have women in your family...to cherish, honour and protect. So try doing that to all the other women as well.....If you're a woman, then I wonder what you were thinking of when you allow a fellow sister to be humiliated....
"Study" part 1
Perspektif terhadap “Ilmu” part 1
Ada pepatah yang masih saya ingat , first time dengar
melalui siaran radio masa tengah bawak kereta, lebih kurang macam ni bunyinya “sahabat
yang paling akrab itu adalah akal fikiran dan musuh yang paling durjana itu
adalah jahil”. Termenung sekejap bila terdengar pepatah ini kerana maksudnya
yang secara peribadi bagi saya sangat “deep” .
Kita semua secara dasarnya memang dari kecil ditekankan oleh
ibu bapa untuk belajar. Merujuk kepada sistem pendidikan di negara kita, kita
mula menjejakkan kaki ke pra sekolah
seawal usia 6 tahun ,masuk ke alam sekolah rendah hingga ke usia 12 tahun , dan
menamatkan alam persekolahan “by right” pada usia 17 tahun (SPM) . kita stop dekat situ dulu
sebagai mewakili majority budak-budak yang menuntut secara formal . jadi jika
ikut standard calculation kita telah habiskan 12 tahun untuk “sekolah”. Saya dulu
selalu tertanya-tanya, “aku bangun pagi2 pegi sekolah ni untuk apa sebenarnya?”
. masa tu kira memang malas giler lah nak pegi sekolah . diri selalu membentak “ah,satu
rutin yang membosankan…..”. Masuk ke alam sekolah menengah , lagi lah haru ,
pergi sekolah sekadar untuk jumpa member , time rehat pegi makan , waktu sukan
pegi berlari pusing padang , dan waktu yang paling “syiook” adalah time cikgu
cuti , ianya seolah-olah “dream comes true”
bagi pelajar2 yang sewaktu dengan saya . Tapi bukannya saya nak story
pasal zaman persekolahan saya yang “boring” tu. Sekadar ingin berkongsi
pendapat mengenai “sistem”. Sistem yang pernah saya lalui sendiri , bukanlah
bermaksud untuk “berlagak pandai” kerana saya bukanlah orang yang selayaknya
untuk “mengomen” . namun dengan berpegang atas prinsip “perkongsian pendapat” .
here it is..
bagi saya dekat sekolah , sistem bilik darjah sebenarnya
telah dipisahkan secara “tidak” formal , iaitu = pelajar2 yang kategori elit
duduk kelas depan, dan pelajar2 kategori “slow” duduk kelas2 belakang (common
sense) . secara amnya memang nampak sistematik iaitu para guru boleh bagi lebih
perhatian terhadap pelajar2 yang agak “lambat tangkap” mengikut level. Kalau ikutkan
konsep ilmu itu sendiri , ianya(knowledge) untuk difaham , bukan untuk dihafal …dan bila
masuk je bab “kefahaman” ni , ianya bukan bergantung kepada guru semata-mata
tapi juga atas faktor-faktor lain , lebih-lebih lagi bergantung kepada pelajar
itu sendiri . jadi sistem pembahagian macam ini kita telah “block” sesuatu
kepada pelajar2 lemah ni. Kita telah “block” dari segi “sosial” . mungkin saya
boleh istilahkan ia sebagai “suasana sosial ilmiah” . kefahaman ini sesuatu
yang “abstract” . kalau seorang guru boleh bagi kefahaman untuk semua muridnya
. maka tidak timbul pulak benda macam ni ye tak? :D .masalahnya TAK boleh.. depan cikgu memang
lah pelajar2 yang lemah ni segan sebab kita dipengaruhi oleh perasaan hormat
atau mungkin “takut” kat guru2 tertentu. Tapi secara psikologinya kita lebih mudah
untuk berinteraksi dengan lingkungan mereka yang sebaya dengan kita sebab “level
of respect” tu dah “direndahkan” sikit . cikgu dah menyampaikan dengan
sebaik-baiknya . saya ulangi…MENYAMPAIKAN ..bukan MEMAHAMKAN…cikgu sampaikan
supaya kita faham= kalau tak faham pegilah tanya (cliché)… dan sepatutnya
pelajar-pelajar kategori “Elite” ni lagilah cepat faham daripada pelajar yang
lain . mungkin cikgu terangkan sekali je dah boleh “master”.penguasaan mereka
dah kira “advance”.kalau ikutkan kajian, antara faktor kejayaan pelajar dalam
akademik adalah melalui “study group”.mereka2 yang elit ni sebenarnya suka
untuk menghabiskan “free time” (cikgu tak masuk) kat sekolah untuk berdiskusi
sesama mereka . budak-budak ni bukannya rajin sangat nak buat study group kat
luar sekolah selepas waktu belajar. Banyak lagi aktiviti “riadah” dorang kat
rumah tu. Apatah lagi pelajar2 yang
lemah . ..kat sekolah jelah tempat mereka ni nak “menuntut”. Mereka2 ni sebenarnya
bukannya malas sangat nak belajar. Mereka pun berhasrat nak jadi “pandai”..tapi
problemnya mereka nak discuss apekebenda sesama dorang? Semua geng 1 kelas pun
tak berapa nak faham subjek yang cikgu baru lepas ajar. Orang cakap “cannot go”.
Last2 moral mereka akan jadi “down”. Nak suruh dorang pegi tanya budak2 pandai
kelas atas manalah mereka kenal sangat. Tengok muka pun seminggu sekali time
assembly..sebab kita dah “block” sosial antara mereka tu..kita wujudkan
jurang..kefahaman pelajaran itu kemungkinan lebih mudah untuk difaham apabila
diterangkan oleh rakan sebaya . kerana interaksi itu menjadi lebih “informal”. Saya
cakap ni berdasarkan pengalaman..saya dulu paling lemah math..kat kampung dulu saya
belajar subjek math dengan kawan saya, banyak kefahaman datang secara langsung
dari dia..bukannya saya nak cakap cikgu ajar tak pandai..kalau tak pandai
takkanlah member saya ni power matematik. .cuma memang saya banyak faham dari
dia..kat sekolah subjek math ni saya cuma dapat “input” dari guru..tapi tak
faham konsep dia..mungkin sebab saya tak suka calculation sangat..nasib baik
saya kenal member saya tu..kalau tak kenal??sampai sekarang jahil mengira
agaknya..
mungkin kita boleh cedok sistem pendidikan dulu2…tok2 guru
mengajar agama..mengajar mengaji ..semua pun kumpul sekali je..duduk
sekali..masing2 kenal..walaupun guru ajar murid mengikut tahap mereka jugak
masa tu..tapi tidak wujud “social block” antara mereka . tidak ada “wall” yang
memisahkan mereka. mungkin hari ini kita boleh try buat mix class selama
seminggu ..then skip ..lepas tu combine lagi..lebih kurang macam tu lah.. :D….maksud
tulisan saya ni bukannya nak kata kat sekolah tu “block” terus interaksi sosial antara murid tu. cuma ada jurang2
pendidikan “berkelompok”..tu je..bukan apa..sebab pergaulan sesama “level”
ni..takut jadi yang pandai makin pandai…yang tak pandai = pandai2 lah sendiri….
Wallahua’alam..
p/s : terpaksa study math masa SPM dulu sebab terasa nak
sambung belajar secara formal.. antara subjek wajib kredit… :D
Friday 10 February 2012
Merapu
Anak,ibu atau bapa?
Kita semua secara umumnya sejak dilahirkan akan mendapat
satu pangkat atau jawatan yang digelar “anak”. Kalau ikut standard English
jawatan tersebut akan diwakili oleh
istilah yang lebih detail iaitu “son” or “daughter” yang secara direct
translation membawa maksud “anak lelaki” atau “anak perempuan”. Dan part yang
bestnya ialah jawatan ini kita akan pegang
sampailah kita mati. Tiada istilah “resign” apatah lagi “pencen” jika
mencecah umur 60. Tidak kira sama ada ibu bapa kita masih ada atau
tidak,pangkat tersebut sama sekali tidak akan terlucut pada setiap individu.
Seterusnya sebahagian besar dari kita akan menempuh satu lagi fasa yang
melaluinya kita akan mendapat pangkat “ibu” atau “bapa” (erk…actually ada lagi
pangkat sebelum tu iaitu = suami/isteri,tapi malas nak highlight sebab saya
belum kahwin..)
Seperti yang kita sedia maklum, setiap jawatan atau pangkat
yang dipegang akan datang dengan senarai tanggungjawab atau Job Descriptions
(JD). Jadi kalau ikut law memang kita semua ada tanggungjawab yang perlu
dipikul sama ada sebagai anak atau ibu bapa. Disini saya bukannya berminat
untuk kupas perihal tanggungjawab tersebut yang mana memang dah berlambak
sangat sumber yang menyentuh hal ini. Saya cuma ingin bertanya,berdasarkan
realiti, dari perspektif mana kita melihat “nilai” anak atau parent ini? Dari
sini kita akan mendapat dua nilai, iaitu nilai dari segi kemanusiaan (humanity
values) itu sendiri dan nilai sebagai seorang islam. Kita ambil realiti hari
ini didalam budaya kita di Malaysia, segelintir dari kita hanya melihat nilai
anak itu sebagai “tanggungan” yang mana kita perlu sediakan segala keperluan
mereka yang mencakupi tempat tinggal,makan minum,pendidikan dan kemudahan2
lainnya sesuai dengan kehendak mereka & kemampuan kita. Perlu diingat,yang
tanggungan itu merupakan satu “liability” kepada kita .Alhamdulillah , di
negara kita , rata-rata penjawat jawatan “anak” boleh menjejakkan kaki ke
sekolah, bermula dari zaman kanak2 riang yang mengunyah coklat kinder bueno di
kindergarden hinggalah ke zaman percintaan ombak rindu muda-mudi di IPT. Si
bapa siang malam membawa teksi bermeter jenama Proton mencari pelanggan demi
membayar yuran semester si anak sulung yang sedang belajar hotel & katering
di University of Nottingham . Di rumah pula si ibu sanggup bersengkang mata
menguli tepung untuk membuat kuih untuk dijual, hasil jualan dikumpul saban
hari untuk membeli handphone terkini model Samsung Galaxy Tab dengan harapan
untuk buat “surprise” kat si adik yang mendapat 4A 5B dalam SPM (contoh). Pendek
kata,tak kira kaya atau miskin dari kecil sampai besar, cukup besar kita
berkorban demi mereka.Persoalannya, apa yang kita harapkan dari anak-anak kita
ini?apakah hanya untuk melihat mereka menjadi seorang Arkitek?Doktor pakar sakit
puan? Profesor?.Eh! rupanya kita hanya tekankan mereka dari segi akademik,kita
boleh buat tak nampak anak gadis kita keluar pergi tuisyen pakai mini skirt,
kita boleh tutup mata tengok anak lelaki kita terlajak solat kononnya buat
study group kat restoran Secret Recipe. Kita
pandang remeh aspek akhlak.kita buang nilai agama. Anak gadis kita tu bila ada
orang tegur “eh,mak awak tak marah ke pakai macam ni?”. Dia selamba jawab “Mama
I open-minded, mama lah yang tolong pilih skirt ni”. Anak ni lah yang kita
bangga sangat dengan jiran yang kononnya pelajar cemerlang dapat offer further
study kat oversea. Scholarship sana sini. Ni ke yang kita NAK?sayang betul kita
kat anak2 sampaikan dosa mereka pun kita nak tanggung.kita tinggalkan persoalan
tu kat sini..
Kita lihat dari sudut pandang yang lain.Sebagai orang melayu yang cukup sinonim dengan nilai Islam , sudah tentu kita aware yang anak
itu adalah AMANAH dari Allah dan dalam islam konsep anak tu bukannya tanggungan
tapi “investment”. Kita lupa,Kita bukan hanya membesarkan seorang MANUSIA tapi
kita membesarkan seorang MUSLIM.Jadi sebagai seorang Muslim, yang kita betul2 harapkan ialah supaya anak
itu membesar menjadi seorang INSAN yang bertaqwa. Islam itu adil , tidak
mengapa jika kita tidak mampu untuk membawa mereka ke kolej dengan menaiki BMW
7 series, yang menjadi persoalan apakah kita mampu memimpin mereka berjalan di
atas jalan menuju ke SYURGA?. Tidak mengapa jika anak kita gagal subjek fizik
asalkan mereka lulus dalam subjek “Akhlak”. Kerana kita semua telah pun beriman
kepada Al-Quran yang mana didalamnya terdapat firman Allah :
“ Dan perintahkanlah
kepada keluargamu mendirikan solat dan bersabarlah kamu dalam mengerjakannya..”
– Surah Taha 20 : 132 –
Masa mereka kecil kita selalu berpesan “jangan main tengah
panas”. Sayangnya kita kat mereka sampai takutnya mereka jatuh sakit terkena
teriknya matahari. Tapi takut ke kita akan api neraka yang akan menjamah tubuh
mereka kelak?kita lupa firman Allah :
“Wahai orang yang
beriman , peliharalah diri kamu dan keluarga kamu daripada seksa api neraka… “ -Surah Al-Tahrim 66 : 6 –
Walaubagaimanapun ini bukanlah bermakna aspek2 lain tu perlu
kita abaikan terus,bukanlah bermakna kita menidakkan kepentingan akademik itu
sendiri . sekadar hanya perlu “re-setting” kita punya mindset untuk meletakkan “first
thing first”.perlu lebihkan penekanan kepada benda yang bersifat “priority”. Sayang
antara ahli keluarga tu bukannya kita bagi mereka “benda yang nampak”.bukannya dengan
bekalkan mereka dengan aset duniawi yang mana bila sampai masanya,aset tersebut
tidak memberi sebarang manfaat lagi. Sedangkan aset yang sebenar-benar “aset”
kita “terlupa” untuk bekalkan kepada mereka. Kita tahu mana yang salah mana
yang betul,kita tahu apa yang halal apa yang haram tapi kita taknak sampaikan
kepada mereka. Kita jadi “selfish” tanpa
kita sedar.
Bagi seorang anak, dari kecil sampai besar kita mendapat
kasih sayang yang melimpah dari ibu bapa, segelintir kita belajar
bersungguh-sungguh dengan harapan untuk membalas jasa mereka. Kita berjaya
mendapat kerjaya yang bagus , kita berjaya menjawat jawatan yang penting , kita
berjaya meraih pendapatan yang lumayan. Persoalannya apa yang kita nak bagi
kepada mereka sebenarnya??habis yang tak pandai belajar, yang sekadar kerja
kampung, yang tiada kelulusan..apakah mereka ini tidak layak atau tidak mampu
untuk membalas jasa kedua ibu bapa mereka? Kat sini datangnya konsep berbuat
baik kepada ibu bapa didalam Islam tu. Berbakti dengan kedua tangan kepada
mereka, bagi layanan yang baik dan yang paling penting DOAKANLAH kesejahteraan
mereka.
Telah datang seseorang
menghadap Nabi S.A.W untuk meminta izin pergi berjihad. Baginda lalu bertanya “apakah
kedua orang tuamu masih hidup?” dia menjawab “ya,masih hidup” . lalu baginda
bersabda “berjihadlah engkau disisi keduanya (berbaktilah kepada mereka)” –
Hadis Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim –
Berdasarkan hadis ni adakah kita nampak nilai berbakti tu? Besar
manakah darjatnya? Mak kita kat kampung tu bukannya harap sangat kita belikan
mereka TV LCD 42” Panasonic (flat screen) tu. Mak kita tu bukannya kaki
sinetron duduk menghadap TV 24/7 . dalam hati kecil mereka hanya mengharapkan
DOA dari anak-anak. Bapak kita tu bukannya nak sangat Massage Chair keluaran
Gintell yang boleh adjust “angle” tu (kita tak tau yang abah kita tu lebih prefer
traditional massage dari mak kita pakai minyak kambing gurun). Dia hanya
mengharapkan bila dia didalam kubur nanti sentiasa ada “extra light” yang tidak
putus2 dari kita semua. Senang kan? Tak payah jadi Engineer pun boleh berbuat
baik. kalau dah teruk sangat pun tak dapat nak buat, sekurang-kurangnya
janganlah jadi DERHAKA.
Dan jika kita fikir betul2, kita buat semua tu bukannya
hanya sekadar kerana kedudukan kita sebagai
anak atau ibu bapa semata-mata. Tapi ada pangkat yang paling besar kita jawat
sebagai seorang Muslim iaitu pangkat “HAMBA”.Wallahua’lam.
- Freestyle Artikel ini hanya sekadar peringatan kepada diri
sendiri oleh penulis.-
Monday 6 February 2012
fahamlah...
kawan
aku dengar bicaramu
aku faham tujuanmu
terima kasih ingin membantu
dan sentiasa akan aku
dengar, faham, berterima kasih kepadamu
tapi kawan
kamu harus tahu
aku juga ada caraku
untuk ke tempat yang ingin ku tuju
sesungguhnya kau dan aku
ingin ke situ
ingin memasuki salah satu
dari seribu pintu
cuma...jangan berkeras untuk aku mengikut rentakmu!
langkah pendekku tak mungkin mampu
menyaingi langkah panjangmu
dan aku bukan bertanding denganmu
pertandinganku hanya antara aku dan diriku
dan apa jua perbuatanku
bukan kerana kamu
semuanya untuk aku...kerana Tuhanku..... :)
aku dengar bicaramu
aku faham tujuanmu
terima kasih ingin membantu
dan sentiasa akan aku
dengar, faham, berterima kasih kepadamu
tapi kawan
kamu harus tahu
aku juga ada caraku
untuk ke tempat yang ingin ku tuju
sesungguhnya kau dan aku
ingin ke situ
ingin memasuki salah satu
dari seribu pintu
cuma...jangan berkeras untuk aku mengikut rentakmu!
langkah pendekku tak mungkin mampu
menyaingi langkah panjangmu
dan aku bukan bertanding denganmu
pertandinganku hanya antara aku dan diriku
dan apa jua perbuatanku
bukan kerana kamu
semuanya untuk aku...kerana Tuhanku..... :)
TKC77 - a reunion!
It's really, really, REALLY gonna happen! Yeayyyy....insyaallah. What started out as idle talk between The Usual Suspects over one of our lunches led to a few of us appointing ourselves as a committee of sorts. Even our "Associate Member" got excited and volunteered her services.
Truthfully, we didn't expect such a good response...taulah batch kita ni kan...suam-suam kuku aja most times...hehehe...But we didn't reckon on Ajeel...the Dictator Extraordinaire!! Ajeel's strategy, a combination of arm twisting, threats, playing on sentiments [korang nak tunggu batchmate kita ramai lagi mati ke baru nak get together??], worked wonders! She personally roped in enough members to make the reunion possible and at a critical time too. Zai was ready to throw in the towel at that point ;). So AJEEL - KUDOS to you, girl!! We shall kiss your a*s* later okay :D
Special thanks to Zai, Leha, Robi, Ani (Associate Member) for their effort to recce the original potential venue in Melaka. Also to Zaki for calling every possible person she could think of from our batch - sampai ada yang kami tak kenal pun!! Thanks also to all the others who cajoled yet more others to join this reunion. Dan terima kasih tak terhingga to our sponsors, Khuzi and Daing. And thanks to Facebook - it would have been quite impossible for our batch to touch base often without this medium.
To date, 6 (am I right here?) have left us....never to return. I'm sure they'll be there with us in spirit. Arwah Ani Aziz would have jumped at this chance to touch base again if she had been alive - I'm pretty sure of that. In remembrance of our dear departed friends, we will be holding a tahlil session on the evening of our arrival. Lets all pray that Babe can make it to the reunion - her mum isn't well.
I don't know about you girls, but for me, at 52, death seems so "real" somehow - almost tangible. So lets make the best of this time together. Lets forget our differences and make amends. Lets get to know each other again - as adults. Lets embody the spirit of "berkasih sayang". We may never see each other again after this......
Truthfully, we didn't expect such a good response...taulah batch kita ni kan...suam-suam kuku aja most times...hehehe...But we didn't reckon on Ajeel...the Dictator Extraordinaire!! Ajeel's strategy, a combination of arm twisting, threats, playing on sentiments [korang nak tunggu batchmate kita ramai lagi mati ke baru nak get together??], worked wonders! She personally roped in enough members to make the reunion possible and at a critical time too. Zai was ready to throw in the towel at that point ;). So AJEEL - KUDOS to you, girl!! We shall kiss your a*s* later okay :D
Special thanks to Zai, Leha, Robi, Ani (Associate Member) for their effort to recce the original potential venue in Melaka. Also to Zaki for calling every possible person she could think of from our batch - sampai ada yang kami tak kenal pun!! Thanks also to all the others who cajoled yet more others to join this reunion. Dan terima kasih tak terhingga to our sponsors, Khuzi and Daing. And thanks to Facebook - it would have been quite impossible for our batch to touch base often without this medium.
To date, 6 (am I right here?) have left us....never to return. I'm sure they'll be there with us in spirit. Arwah Ani Aziz would have jumped at this chance to touch base again if she had been alive - I'm pretty sure of that. In remembrance of our dear departed friends, we will be holding a tahlil session on the evening of our arrival. Lets all pray that Babe can make it to the reunion - her mum isn't well.
I don't know about you girls, but for me, at 52, death seems so "real" somehow - almost tangible. So lets make the best of this time together. Lets forget our differences and make amends. Lets get to know each other again - as adults. Lets embody the spirit of "berkasih sayang". We may never see each other again after this......
Friday 3 February 2012
SENYUM2…GELENG2….
senyum-senyum aku
bila membaca
apa yang dia kata
geleng-geleng aku
bila melihat
cara tuturnya
sentiasa bisa
sinis bahasanya
walaupun betul
apa yang kita tutur
walaupun luhur
niat kita jujur
untuk memperbetul
supaya umat akur………
renung-renunglah
jika kita begitu kuat
memegang sunnah
begitu teguh
mengikut cara Rasulullah
bila beramal ibadah
mengapa payah
menurut tingkahnya
dalam bermuamalah…….
Rasulku begitu berhemah
Rasulku tak gemar berbalah
Rasulku begitu sabar melayan kerenah
walau ditohmah difitnah
dihalau diludah………
Thursday 2 February 2012
KU BERDIRI....
Ku berdiri menghadapNya di dini hari
Tak selalu ku mampu berbuat begini
Tak selalu ku mampu berbuat begini
Bukan aku sakit tak terdaya
Bukan aku tak bermaya
Cuma aku selalu leka
Terlalu bersuka dengan dunia…..
Aaah dunia, tak pernah sudah!
Ada saja jamuan untuk alpa
Tak perlu guna minda
Duduk saja, mata terbuka
Mulut ternganga
Lihat entah apa-apa!
Datang pula bosan sama dunia
Bosan duduk ternganga lihat entah apa-apa
Terbit suara halus, terngiang-ngiang di telinga
Berputar-putar di minda
Bagai hati ini berkata-kata
Sudahlah….tinggallah…..
Datang pula suara anak muda
Yang tak pernah bosan bersuara
Pelbagai yang di cerita
Sampai ketika hati ini terasa
Mahu merasa apa yang dia rasa
Sentuhan yang lebih halus dari sutera……
Lalu ku berdiri lagi di dini hari
Kali ini dengan misi
Aku ingin mencari
Ingin merasa sentuhan yang seni
Yang menyentuh sanubari
Sentuhan misteri, melembutkan hati…..
Aku mahu sangat untuk rindu
Aku mahu sangat merasa pilu
Aku mahu merasa sayu
Mahu rasa teramat malu!
Mahu rasa betapa kerdilnya aku
Bila berhadapan denganMu……..
Aku akan saban terus berdiri
Di waktu ini, waktu sunyi
Mengharap agar sepi pagi
Menular ke hati
Merangkum diri
Agar ku tahu siapa diri ini…….
Wednesday 25 January 2012
"dah tutup aurat"....REALLY???
Digerakkan hati hingga tergerak hati nak "pakai tudung" - as we say here in Malaysia. So being the researcher that I am, I decided to "learn all about it" so to speak. And what I found out surprised me!! I had thought it was just a matter of making sure that:
1. hanya muka dan dua tapak tangan sahaja yang terdedah
2. baju must be thick enough so as not to nampak warna kulit
3. pakaian tidak menunjukkan susuk tubuh
4. tudung must be long enough to cover bahagian dada.
Easy enough...so I thought. ONLY to find out that there's more to this than the above!!
1. bahagian yang boleh "dinampakkan" ialah dua telapak tangan dan muka - CHECK!
Sabda Rasulullah kepada Asma’ binti Abu Bakar,
“Wahai Asma’ sesungguhnya seorang wanita itu apabila telah baligh (haidh) maka tidak boleh baginya menampakkan tubuhnya kecuali ini dan ini, seraya menunjukkan wajah dan telapak tangannya.”
“Wahai Asma’ sesungguhnya seorang wanita itu apabila telah baligh (haidh) maka tidak boleh baginya menampakkan tubuhnya kecuali ini dan ini, seraya menunjukkan wajah dan telapak tangannya.”
[HR Abu Dawud]
Juga pendapat-pendapat para sahabat eg Ibnu Abbas, Ibnu Umar dan juga Aisyah [Al-Albani, 2001:66], Ibnu Jarir Ath-Thabari (wafat 310H) menjelaskan dalam kitab tafsirnya, Jami Al-Bayan fi Tafsir Al-Qur`an Juz XVIII ms 84, Imam Al-Qurthubi dalam kitab tafsirnya Al-Jamia li Ahkam Al-Qur’an, Juz XII hal. 229 [Al-Albani, 2001:50 & 57] bila mentafsirkan
“Dan janganlah mereka menampakkan perhiasannya, kecuali yang (biasa) nampak darinya.”
[TMQ An-Nur (24):31].
2. tidak nampak warna kulit and susuk tubuh - CHECK!
Usamah menyatakan bahawa beliau pernah bertanya kepada Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam tentang kain yang nipis (al-qabtiyah) kerana beliau telah memberikan kepada isterinya untuk dipakai. Mendengarkan tentang perkara yang disampaikan itu Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam bersabda: “Suruhlah isterimu untuk mengenakan kain nipis (al-ghilalah) lagi di bahagian dalamnya, kerana aku khuatir kalau sampai nampak warna tubuhnya.”
And we all know also that to display our "body contours" is wrong. I think everyone agrees with me that so tak payahlah nak bubuh hadis-hadis lagi.
3. bertudung labuh menutup dada - THIS is where it got interesting! My research led me to new frontiers!!
During my college days in the late 70s, at the onset of the dakwah movement here in Malaysia, I saw girls going around in "mini telekung", plain, dull, loose robes over their everyday clothes, socks on their feet. Over the years muslimah fashion has evolved into what we see today - bling bling on tudung/apparel, all imaginable types of tudung - the twist them, wind them, bunch them, slip them over your head, pin them, awnings, and the list goes on....robes became colourful extravagant affairs with sequins, embroidery, gold piping, lace etc etc...eye catching to say the least! Some of these jubah were more akin to the maxi gowns I donned in my teens.
So I erroneously thought..."oh this shouldn't be hard". I'm no advocate of maxis but I could wear them if I had to. And I THOUGHT I had the option of just donning anything loose enough, long enough to cover my thighs, thick enough not to show my skin colour....and I had jeans in mind; me being very much a "jeans" person. I envisioned slipping on a black or any block coloured tudung long enough to cover my definitely not ample chest...and...ta-da!....cukup syarat menutup aurat.....***smile....smile...***
UNTIL, being the good (ehem...ehem...) researcher that I am, I applied the rule of double checking the information. And, boy...was I in for a BIG surprise!! It kept me blog hopping for hours on end....
Here are my findings:
1. There are 2 types of clothes that should be worn.
i) for when you're at home and among those mahram (yang kita tak boleh berkahwin) - what is termed as
"private life".
ii) for when you're out of the house ie in a public place and in the presence of ajnabi (yang kita boleh
berkahwin)
In (i), the aurat is different between those who are mahram to me (I can show my hair for instance) and those who are ajnabi. The rule for (ii) applies in the case of ajnabi even in my own home.
In (ii), even if I'm just out to sidai kain, I am to put on a robe ie jilbab/abaya over my everyday clothes! Jilbab/abaya is defined as a single continuous piece of loose, shapeless gown, fully covering my body from the neck down to my heels, made of material (yang not eye catching) thick enough to conceal my skin colour and the clothes I have underneath it. And remember, kaki pun kena fully covered juga so kena pakai socks. So tak boleh just pakai underwear and sarung the jilbab/abaya!! Phewwww.....THIS is totally new to me!!
And the tudung pulak is to be of thick material yang tak menampakkan colour of the skin juga and sampai ke pergelangan tangan. The tudung must cover both bahagian depan and belakang my body.
Hukumnya if tak observe the dress code? HARAM...no two ways about it!!
Ummu ‘Athiyah pernah bertutur demikian: "Rasullullah saw memerintahkan kami – baik ia budak wanita, wanita haid, ataupun wanita perawan – agar keluar(menuju lapangan) pada Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan Aidiladha. Bagi para wanita yang sedang haid diperintahkan untuk menjauhi dari tempat solat, namun tetap menyaksikan kebaikan dan seruan atas kaum muslim. Aku lantas berkata, “Ya Rasulullah, salah seorang diantara kami tidak memiliki jilbab.” Rasulullah pun menjawab, “Hendaklah saudaranya meminjamkan jilbabnya kepadanya.”
Jika saudaranya tidak meminjamkannya, samaada ia tidak mampu meminjam atau tidak diberi pinjam, maka dia tidak boleh keluar rumah kerana tidak mempunyai pakaian seperti yang telah disyariaatkan. Ini adalah indikasi yang menunjukkan bahawa perintah mengenakan jilbab bagi kaum wanita yang ingin keluar rumah adalah wajib. Dengan kata lain, wanita wajib mengenakan jilbab di atas pakaian sehariannya jika hendak keluar rumah. Sebaliknya jika ia tidak mengenakan jilbab, ia tidak boleh keluar rumah.
Only those yang dah menopause and tak ada nafsu nak menikah lagi aja yang boleh menutup aurat with satu lapisan pakaian. Itu pun tak boleh nak berhias-hias...ie no jewellery, makeup, pakai perfume etc. This tak boleh berhias-hias rule applies across the board to women of all ages. Celak tu boleh only if tak berlebihan. Of course dengan spouse tu rulesnya lain.
"Sesiapa jua wanita yang memakai minyak wangi kemudian melintasi khalayak ramai dengan tujuan dihidu bau yang dipakainya, maka dia dikira berzina” [hadis dari Abu Musa al-Asy’ari].
Btw, digalakkan memakai seluar panjang di bawah jilbab/abaya tu just in case kita terjatuh so the chances of terdedah aurat tu is minimised.
I have a better understanding of these 2 hadith now:
Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. :
"Akan datang ummatku di akhir zaman terdiri dari kaum wanita yang mana mereka itu berpakaian dalam keadaan telanjang, di atas kepala mereka berbonggol-bonggol seperti belakang unta. mereka ini dilaknat oleh Allah dan tidak masuk mereka itu ke dalam syurga, serta tidak dapat menghidu baunya. dan sesungguhnya wangian syurga itu di dapati jarak perjalanan lima puluh ribu tahun perjalanan." (Sohih Bukhari)
"Akan datang ummatku di akhir zaman terdiri dari kaum wanita yang mana mereka itu berpakaian dalam keadaan telanjang, di atas kepala mereka berbonggol-bonggol seperti belakang unta. mereka ini dilaknat oleh Allah dan tidak masuk mereka itu ke dalam syurga, serta tidak dapat menghidu baunya. dan sesungguhnya wangian syurga itu di dapati jarak perjalanan lima puluh ribu tahun perjalanan." (Sohih Bukhari)
Hadis Rasulullah riwayat dari Bazzar dan At-Termizi menjelaskan,
“Sesungguhnya wanita itu adalah aurat, setiap kali mereka keluar, syaitan akan memperhatikannya.”
Hmmm....so in conclusion:
1. tak bertudung menutup aurat <----------- for sure lah HARAM! NO DISPUTE!
2. bertudung menutup aurat but baju ketat or pendek or jarang etc <--------- HARAM juga!!
3. bertudung menutup aurat berpakaian longgar, tebal, etc yang kira-kira tak nampak susuk tubuh, warna kulit dan sebagainya TAPI keluar rumah only pakai ni aja without the jilbab/abaya over it <---------- HARAM juga!!!
Those dakwah sisters of my college days got it right!
Wallahualam....
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