Almost goodbye....

            It'll be 2014 in a few days. How time flies...regardless of whether you're having fun or otherwise.
            2013 was filled with several major events. Like these:

.....Alma Khadeeja and Adra Malaika graced my life and made me a grandma for the 5th and 6th time.....

.............Ratih and Auni started formal schooling.......

......mak's last aidil fitri.......

......DIA class of 78-81 reunited - after decades long......

.......Loli and family left for Johor - for the next few years. We've never been this far apart.......

......TKC77 - friendship renewed and friendship strengthened. Also friendship estranged.......

......Hani graduated! Yea))))) ........











            It's been quite a year. A mix of happy and sad events.
            Life is such..... :) :)
            Just glad that I'm still smiling..............................

Child Marriages: Muslims do not have a monopoly on this!

            Prophet Muhammad saw is often derogatorily called paedophile by many non-Muslims. They often portray the much revered and loved Muslim prophet as a wayward, depraved, sex maniac. This often enraged many Muslims and culminated in a name calling fest.
            After coming across many such incidences in public forums, I decided to do a bit of research on child marriages in the western countries.
            Folks fail to realise that people of the that era were a lot bigger than us physically and mature much earlier. Add that to the fact that life expectancy was also lower - I mean quite a number died in battles, torture, during their travels etc. If we were to believe the statistics, of the Romans who lived to the age of 15, half of them dropped dead by 45! Even in so called modern civilisations, people died "young" before the 1900s. In the 1800s life expectancy for the average person was 40. http://www.pbs.org/fmc/timeline/dmortality.htm For white women, life expectancy at birth rose from 51 years in 1900 to 80 years in 1996. For white men, life expectancy at birth rose from 48 years in 1900 to 74 years in 1996. Given this scenario, why are we so surprised that people marry at an age when we would be in primary school today?
            One can't compare today's girl of 9 with one of the same age more than a thousand years ago. Lifestyles were vastly different from ours and, hence, what was deemed permissible and normal then would be severely frowned upon today. At 13, I couldn't even tie my own hair properly! But I met girls in the rural areas who effectively handled cooking the family meals, minding their younger siblings and doing myriad household chores at the tender age of 9 - and we live in the same era!
            It seems that many westerners who were quick to condemn the Muslims are not aware of the shenanigans in their own backyard. They often give the impression that the westerners were more civilised and do not marry underage girls.
            When they spoke of what Nabi Muhammad [pbuh] did more than 1400 years ago did they know that;

    o    the Bible doesn't expressly prohibit child marriages? Neither does it expressly state the age of consent. A girl who has reached puberty is considered "of marriageable age" - and many girls reach puberty at 9.
    o    1100-1300 CE: In medieval Europe, Gratian [a monk who was  the influential founder of Canon law], accepted the traditional age of puberty for marriage [circa 12-14] but he also said that consent was "meaningful" if the children were older than 7? Some authorities said consent could take place even earlier. This policy was carried over into English Common and became part of European Civil Law. An interesting thing about this is that although consent is necessary, force and influence or persuasion seemed to have been permissible elements. 
    o    1200s CE: Magnus Hirschfeld's, a historian, findings on a survey of age of consent of about 50 countries [mostly in Europe and the Americas] - 12 years in 15 countries, 13years in 7, 14 years in 5, 15 years in 4, and 16 years in 5? In the rest of the countries, it remained unclear.
    o    1500-1600s CE: The age of consent in both English and continental laws seemed to be particularly elastic when property were involved or family alliances were at stake eg in 1564, a 3-year old named John was married to a 2-year old named Jane in the Bishop's Court, Chester, England? Judges honoured marriages of mutual consent  at younger than 7 in spite of what Gratian had said. 
          A contemporary, Philip Stubbes, wrote that in 16th century East Anglia [a region of the UK], infants still in diapers were married!
          The most influential legal text of the 17th century in England, that of Sir Edward Coke, made it clear that the marriage of girls under 12 was normal. Eligibility age for receiving a dower from her husband's estate was 9.
          The American colonies followed the English traditions. In 1689 in Virginia, America, Mary Hathaway was married off to William Williams when she was 9.
    o    1700-1800 CE: In the parish of Middlesex County, Virginia, there is a record of 14-year old Sarah Halfhide marrying 21-year old Richard Perrot? It was indicated in the document that she was a widow!
Of the 98 girls on the 10-year register, 3 probably married at 8, 1 at 12, 1 at 13, and 2 at 14.
    o    1900-2000 CE: In France, the bride, Bertrande, was 9 when she was married to Martin Guerre? This marriage was famous for its case of identity theft.
    o    TODAY in USA: In Massachussetts, age of consent for females [with parental permission] is 12, males 14, New Hampshire - females 13, males 14, California, Delaware, Mississippi - no age limits?

            Be very careful of calling the kettle black...when you're a pot!  

My Precious Collection :)

 Auni, 7, is the most precocious of the 6 grandkids that I have. Every time she opens her mouth, I'd hold my breath! A typical chat :-

She: "Maktok, you like the song "Wind of Change"?"
Me:  "Yes"
She: "I know. My dad told me.All OLD people like "Wind of Change""

She fights all the time with her sister..........

 

                                                         ....Iris, 5, who is missing all her top front teeth.

                                                   When they call it a truce, they're like this.....

                                               ....which often times only happen during outings.

             Both absolutely adore their youngest sibling.......

           

                                         ....Alma Khadeeja - she'll be 1 in January in syaa Allah.
                                                                   
                                                                 All 3 belong to these folks........

     

These 2 contributed 3 grandkids, namely......

  ....Ratih, 7,                    .....Kama, 6,

                                      .......and baby Adra, almost 9 months.

 

My 3 beauties :)  

Sedang Membaca

sebuah buku berjudul Panah Panah Syaitan.

Memilih membaca ini kerana kebelakangan ini, jiwa terasa gundah gulana, sangat kosong dan hollow. Mungkin ini adalah masa terbaik untuk mencari pengisian.

Tertarik nak berkongsi makna ujub.

"orang jahat akan melihat dosa dosanya seperti lalat yang hinggap di hidungnya, dengan mudah diusirnya hanya dengan mengibaskan tangan tangannya. adapun seorang mukmin melihat dosa dosanya bagaikan duduk di bawah kaki gunung yang siap sedia menimpanya." (Hadis riwayat Bukhari)

Sesungguhnya diri ini, banyak juga mengaut dosa sepanjang perjalanan di atas muka bumi ini.

We didn't do that!

           I know it's fruitless to state that. I know many Americans would not believe me. Even when your fellow Americans agree with me. And I understand why you won't.
           Because....

     o    it would be too, too heartbreaking to acknowledge that the very people you placed your trust in were the very ones to betray you;
     o    that, to them, you were just collateral damage in their endeavour to rule the world;
     o    to admit this truth means admitting that they are still betraying you when they keep sending all the little boys and girls to die in the wars;
     o    you'd feel utterly moronic about swallowing hook, line and sinker their story about the uncivilised, illiterate, backward cave dwellers who managed to hijack commercial planes, dupe your mighty security forces, infiltrate your buildings, and plan such a historical and spectacular pyrotechnics show the world would remember for a long, long, long while;
     o    you'd have to admit that your government is a godless one to think nothing of sacrificing the very people who elected them into power;
     o    it would belie the USA's standing as the world's greatest democracy - to be emulated by the rest of the world;
     o    you'd have to face the fact that you're ruled by a force greater than your government - and it's not god as the faithful know it;
     o    you'd have to call your government a terrorist;
     o    you've been effectively lied to for at least 11 years over this, you'd tend to wonder what other lies they've told;
     o    you'd realise that there's no such thing as freedom of speech. Your news agencies just feed you what the powers that be order them to;
     o    there's truth to the term "Ugly American"; and
     o    it means shattering the "American Dream".

            I feel for you.
            Many of you would rather live with blinkers on because that'll help you cope.
            Many would still insist that the Muslims are barbaric.
            Many would still refuse to engage their logic and give the sentiment expressed in the video a fighting chance. Funny really given the fact that many of you are atheists and believe so much in science.
            Many would go on being puppets under the control of manipulators.
           
            The table is now turned....and I feel sorry for the many........

Covered vs Exposed

            If you're like me who loves to spend hours watching religious debates/discussions on youtube, you're bound to come across opinions on "Covered vs Exposed". Many non-Muslims, particularly those from the West, find it extremely strange that there are actually women on this planet who loves to "cover up". They prefer to think that we are an oppressed lot....these poor, poor, pitiful Muslim women. More so if you happen to be from a third world country.
            These "modern" Western ladies feel compelled to "liberate" us "downtrodden-very-much-under-the-male-thumb" fellow women. You can tell them until you're blue in the face and frothing at the mouth that it is a conscious decision, they'd still think you've been brainwashed by the male mullahs! "Oh, woe the Muslim women! I feeeel for you, sister!", they say - and I smile to myself.
            Now, why is it so hard for them to accept that we chose to cover/veil ourselves? I've lived among westerners - when I was very much "westernised" myself. Even then they found me strange. I wasn't one to prance, primp, powder and perfume to attract male attention. Some even inquired as to whether I was "into women"! - the perils of living close to San Francisco I guess. Such a "gay" land ;) The fact that I was always in jeans, shirts and boots, and a smoker to boot didn't help I guess. I had my fair share of "invitations" from both genders. Phew...at least there were those who viewed me as straight!
            You'd probably pooh-pooh me when I tell you that it's so liberating to be fully covered. Especially if you've seen my "unplugged" version. Truthfully, I'd never, in my wildest dreams, ever envisioned myself to be so "shrouded". I'll always be thankful to that young man who made me consider a new mode of dress....and to embrace a new lifestyle too.
            Why do I feel liberated? Here goes.......

1.    I am almost unnoticed in public. As a young woman living a secular lifestyle, there were many times when I got vexed by unwelcome attention from men. The fact that I did a lot of activities all by my lonesome self seemed to be permission for men to intrude into my private space. I guess my habit of smiling at all and sundry didn't help - serves me right! The lines I got.....hmmm.....Sidetrack: A guy once bought me a drink, came up to me after that drink was dutifully served by the bartender, and said, "I love beautiful women". I smiled sweetly back and replied, "Me too!". Little did I know that the band which performed at the place had a large lesbian following because the singer was one. No wonder the poor guy scooted off so fast! Then later I scooted off ultra-fast because the singer took a liking to me!
2.    People are extra courteous to me. Even the "mat rempits". I still haven't lost my "smiling" habit but now it doesn't invite unwelcome attention. Maybe also because I'm in my 50s - who'd bother! It's normal for raucous kids to just hush up when I smile at them whilst walking toward the mall entrance [somehow they love to congregate at mall entrances]. I even get "Assalamualaikum makcik" along with sweet smiles. One time they even let me through first, one boy literally pulled his friend away from the entrance - "Bagilah makcik tu jalan dulu. Siallah kau!". The language leaves much to be desired but I do appreciate the gesture.
3.    I don't have the slightest dilemma on choosing a "dress" for a function. I dress the same to weddings, funerals, luncheons, class....you get the drift.
4.    I don't have to bother about colour schemes since I dress in black most times.
5.    I don't have to bother about keeping up to date with fashion trends. Not that I did much of that before!
6.    My wardrobe literally "expands" without me having to spend much. Almost EVERYONE gifts me abaya for birthdays and eid!
7.    I don't have to bother carrying telekung with me during outings.
8.    I'm hardly bothered by the heat or cold. For some reason dressing in 2 layers of clothing regulates the body temperature.
9.    Since hardly anyone notices me, I'm free to not change handbags, slippers, shoes.
10.  I lose "undesirable" friends without any effort on my part.
11.  I can go up to anyone and talk to them without them eyeing me suspiciously. Then again, I'm in Malaysia and not presumed to be married to a terrorist.
12.  I tend to be more careful of my speech and actions. Believe me when I say this is a blessing to the human race!
13.  I'm somewhat more ladylike since the abaya doesn't give me the opportunity to stride like I'm late for an appointment with the PM.
14.  It matters little when something is spilled onto my abaya - takes very little effort to wash off and dry synthetic material. Spillage was grief during my cotton and linen days!

            But the most liberating reason is:::  Absolutely noone would know whether I have underwear on or otherwise ;)

on the use of "Allah": The Malaysian Scenario

            Everyone and their aunties are talking about this. All kinds of opinions have surfaced - some rational, some bordering on lunacy. Knickers, y-fronts, boxers are twisted and knotted beyond recognition over this issue.
            Yea...you've certainly got our attention! And many folks are still foaming at the mouths.
            From my foray into the world of tafseer [interpretation] al-Quran and seerah [biography], I gleaned that "Allah" was used by the pagans of old. These pagans believed that there was this higher being that governed over them. But they also believed that they needed intermediaries to speak on their behalf. So they adopted and prostrated before their chosen deities. 
            On the other hand, there were also those who believed that they themselves were God - Firaun for one. Yet even he knew he was powerless to a certain extent. At the very end of his life, he did try to submit to Moses' God...but we all know what happened.
            As for the Christians, we know that the original Bible is long gone partly because of politics. The church would lose its power over the people if the people believed they didn't need the church to intervene on their behalf with God. Hence, Jesus [pbup] was upgraded to "divine" status and became the Son of God. To this day, the Dead Sea Scrolls remained under lock and key with the Ecole Biblique - and I strongly doubt if the general public will ever be apprised of its contents till the end of time as the stuff revealed in those scrolls would prove the Quran correct. I read a book on this but I've forgotten the author's name...alas!
            Same for the Roman Empire and its king [Constantine] then. In order for Christianity to be palatable to the pagan Romans of that time, it had to include some of the hardcore beliefs of its people - one of which is 25 December, the time when the pagans celebrated its midwinter festivals. Constantine knew that if he were to order his people to fully adopt the Christian faith as mooted in the original Bible, then he'd have to say farewell to his throne. So 25 December was written into the Christian faith and hailed as the birthday of Jesus Christ although no date was given in the original Bible.
            The Arab Christians use "Allah" in this way: Allah al-Ab for God, the Father, Allah al-Ibn for God, the Son, and Allah al-Ruhul al-Quddus for God, the Holy Spirit - since the word "Allah" does not mean One God to them. I figure it's all hunky dory to the Arabs as they all speak and understand Arabic so there's no confusion.
            Lets go to the Malaysian scenario. Since Islam first touched our shores, it's predominantly the Malays who took up this faith. And kept at it even when we were ruled by non-Muslims. Efforts were made to convert the Malay Muslims to Christianity since the days of the Portuguese rule but it didn't make a dent - there were zero conversions for a long, long time. So the Christian powers that be decided that perhaps they would be more successful if they had a Malay Bible - the Malays, largely, didn't speak English during those times. Hence, the birth of the first Malay Bible in the 1700s [Romanised version] and 1800s [Jawi version]. However, the Christian missionaries were still stumped as the Malays didn't budge from Islam.
            I really don't know how it is that the folks in Sabah and Sarawak came to adopt the Malay Bible. If I were to hazard a guess it would be because English is a complex language as compared to Malay, so it was far easier to teach the folks there in a language they are already familiar with. We all know how easy it is for immigrants to pick up Malay - the Banglas and Nepalese could do it within a few short months of their stay here. At least enough to be understood!
            The situation in Malaysia is unique in that only the Muslims [at least the ones in West Malaysia] use "Allah" to denote their God. I remember the times when the Chinese and Indians would use the term "Tuan Alah" when they mean the Muslims' God. It has been this way for the longest time....and respected by the people of other faiths. The fact that it is used by the Christians in Sabah and Sarawak for the last few hundred years isn't a well known fact for the majority of Muslims in Malaysia....until the "Allah" issue was brought to the courts.
            Hence, the hue and cry! The majority of the Malay Muslims feel that this term describes only their God. That's what they have been exposed to all their lives. So they get understandably upset/enraged when another faith wants to use that sacred term in their book. On the theological front, it's obvious that the Christian God and the Muslim God isn't the same. So the Malay Muslims here feel that it's blasphemous if the Christians use it.
           Also the fact that the Christians have never stopped attempting to convert the Malay Muslims to Christianity - despite their claims otherwise. It's obvious that they have been somewhat successful too - there are more than 200,000 Malay converts in 2011 according to the, then, Mufti Perak.
            I can only surmise that the fact that the Christians here want to use the term "Allah" is born of mischief. I can imagine this scenario: when excerpts from the Malay Bible is handed out to little children who may or may not show it to their parents; what will happen then? Because the term "Allah" is used, they may regard it as Islamic doctrine....and they're too young to know the difference. Nauzubillah....although I believe this is already a practise here. If the entire Malay Bible is handed out, even kids would know it's not the Quran because of the distinctive cross. But would the Christian missionaries be that honourable?
            Herein lies our objection.......

Is he crying for help??

            I recall the times I used to sit across from him having long discourses on Islam. He knows quite a fair bit about the religion.
            He tried so hard to reject it! Kinda tough really given his upbringing - ustazah mother and all. The kind of parents who read "kitab kuning". However, he insisted that he was an atheist.
            But I've always had this suspicion that it was all bogus. That it was all lip service. I suspect that he was too scared to be a Muslim - especially a bad one! He was too scared to own up to his errant ways. And the fact that, despite declaring his Godless state, he still wanted toilet space in heaven!
            So....he took the easy way out - "I don't have a God!".
            What a cop out!
            I'm no Rabiatul Adawiyah. Just a Muslim who owns up to her sins. I don't believe in justifying my sins no matter what. After all how on earth am I gonna fool Allah right?!
            Over time he became more convoluted in his "debates". It became tirades. I got tired of listening. He, in turn, wasn't very good at listening. So I distanced myself from him. Or was it he who did that??
            Whatever! Anyway we hardly met for the past 10 years or so. But I get news of him regularly since he's pally wally with a close friend of mine - who is of the opinion that he's gone from bad to worse.
            But something this friend said recently made me pause and reflect. Seems like, of late, our "atheist" friend has been rethinking about the existence of God. Allah to be exact. He wanted Allah himself to "speak" to him!
            Hmmm.....Moses' people came to mind. The 70 who got zapped afterward.
            Could this guy be stupidly arrogant? I know he would know of this story. He's well read. Then again I have doubts about his understanding and interpretation of the Quran based on the discussions we used to have. However, to be fair, I really don't know how far he has "progressed" since then.
            The fact that he's even entertaining the thought of Allah in his sunset years could mean he wants someone to convince him. Maybe because death seems so near when one passes the half decade mark. Especially when rudely reminded - when one's friends are dropping dead left, right and center.
            He could be crying out for help. I pray that his cry will be answered - if that is what it is.....

Demise of the Family Matriach......

            Hari raya Haji is just around the corner. Normally we'd be occupied with menus, housekeeping, and looking forward to receiving our big family in our home. All the others who would come to pay homage to the matriach - mak. Mak was the oldest surviving relative. Also the most sociable.
            Now mak is no more. And the excitement died along with her. At least for now.
            We no longer discuss menus.
            Or get cracking with vacuums, mops, "dirt-cloths".
            Zenal isn't seen rearranging the softscape.
            All is quiet on the kitchen-front. No aromatic smells emanating from anywhere on No30.
            Some of us will be going away for raya haji. To try to get away from the scene of numerous happy moments.
            The phones are quiet.
            No30 is quiet. Too quiet.
            Too "pain-filled".
            The much loved matriach is gone. And, for now, much of our exuberance has gone with her.
            I miss u, mak! WE all miss u, mak!
            May you be among the righteous and having a swell time there......with bapa, Kadir and Latif for company...... :)

Adab saya memang kurang.....

            Ramai orang suuukaaa sangat bertekak dengan saya. Tak kiralah saya layan ke tak. Bila tak layan, depa dok juga terngiang2 kat tepi telinga ni...macam nyamuk. Irritating! Sampai saya fed up dah suruh depa shut up.
            Dulu masa kecik2 selalu kena tegur dengan mak sebab suka cakap lepas sedap mulut. Tapi saya tak kurang ajar - cuma kurang pengetahuan dan penguasaan basa-basi. Kalau tak lawa, saya cakap aja tak lawa bila orang tanya. Sama juga bila tak sedap, tak suka, tak kisah, tak kuasa dan sewaktu dengannya. Membuatkan ramai yang "terserot" - kira terasa hatilah. Jadi ada satu masa tu saya diam aja. Bila orang minta pendapat, saya tanya dulu samada dia orang betul2 ke nak pendapat saya. Kerana saya masih juga fail basa-basi.
            Nasiblah saudara mara sahabat handai terdekat tahu sangat personaliti saya ni. Kalau tidak rasanya saya lama dah dipulaukan! Masalahnya bila saya berdepan dengan orang luar yang tak kenal/tak berapa kenal saya.......
            Rupa2nya sifat saya yang sebegini ada juga gunanya. Saya aja yang dengan selambanya akan berkata apa yang tersirat dalam hati bila berdepan dengan penguatkuasa, ahli politik, kuncu2 ahli politik, anggota polis dan sebagainya. Yelah...bila dia orang ni sesuka hati aja suruh kita buat benda bodoh. Lagi2 kalau depa ni threaten saya - pantang tok nenek saya tu!
            Jadi saya selalu jadi spokesperson untuk mereka2 yang pemalu dan sewaktu dengannya. Sebab saya tak reti malu. Kulit rhinoceros! Kena maki pun saya cool aja. Dan saya tak reti maki orang walau macam mana marah pun hati ini. Nasib baik! Kalau tak dah lama kena racun.
            Dan saya tak kurang ajar. Cuma kurang peka dengan bahasa berlapik berkias orang Melayu. At least most of the time..........
            And I'm working on acquiring better "adab" in syaa Allah ;)
         

Aku lupa dia "Teenager"......

            My bad! Aku betul2 terlupa yang di depan aku ni is a teenager trapped in an adult's body. Kesian dia!
            Aku lupa yang golongan remaja menganggap setiap masalah yang melanda mereka merupakan masalah yang paling kritis dan berat di dunia. Lebih berat dari kemelut gabungan Syria, Palestin, Rohingya, Mesir.
            Aku lupa that to a teenager, dunia harus berhenti dan tumpukan sepenuh perhatian kepada setiap permasalahan mereka. Tak kira bila dan di mana kita.
            Aku lupa bahawa remaja hanya mampu fikir tentang diri mereka saja. Bagi seorang remaja, dia saja yang terpenting dalam hidup dia. Orang lain diwujudkan hanya untuk akur kepada kehendak dia.
            Aku lupa sang remaja tidak mampu [atau tidak mahu?] fikir tentang perasaan dan kehendak orang lain. Bahawa hanya mereka saja yang tahu betapa sukar dan sulitnya permasalahan mereka. Mana mungkin orang lain faham atau pernah lalui keadaan sama dengan mereka.
            Aku lupa that a teenager always feels yang dia sangat2 dizalimi oleh orang2 yang menyayangi mereka. Yang orang2 ni sebenarnya hanya suka mengongkong dan tak mahu lihat mereka bahagia.
            Aku lupa yang remaja hanya akan buat apa yang mereka suka. Pada bila2 masa yang mereka suka.
            Aku lupa remaja tak suka ditegur, dinasihati. Mereka saja yang betul dan paling pandai dalam dunia. Bahawa orang2 tua semuanya kolot dan bodoh tak faham bahasa.
            Aku betul2 lupa!
            Aku lupa bahawa sang remaja itu tahu dan yakin tentang hala hidup mereka. Walaupun pada pendapat aku, akal si remaja hanya panjang sejengkal.
            Aku lupa bahawa seorang remaja selalu menganggap diri mereka sudah dewasa. Walaupun mereka masih perlukan orang lain untuk finance their lifestyle.
            Aku lupa yang remaja mana mampu berfikir panjang dan melihat hidup dari perspektif berbeza. Tak tercapai akal mereka.
            Aku lupa hidup seorang remaja is one drama after another. Setiap situasi perlu dijadikan sensasi. Cara mereka untuk meraih perhatian dunia.
            Aku lupa remaja tak berapa gemar mendengar tentang agama. Pada mereka mati itu jauh dan agama untuk masa tua.
            My bad!
            My bad!
            My bad!
            Tiba2 aku rasa letih. Letih melayan kerenah remaja. Terasa letih berbulan2 mendengar. Terasa sia2 kering air liur memberi pendapat dan nasihat.
            Memang betullah orang kata yang bila dah tua2 ni jadi lebih sensitif. Terasa pula tak dihargai.
            So....maybe I should just tell her to come back when she's all grown up and an adult - if she wants to talk on "serious" matters. Setakat nak layan isu2 teenager...okay aja bila2 pun in syaa Allah.
            In the meantime, aku titipkan doa untuk si "teenager" semoga dia cepat dewasa dan berupaya untuk membuat pilihan2 yang terbaik untuk diri dia :)

Pound vs Kilogram

A joke a day, chases doctor away.

Situation: In the kitchen.

Woman B: What are you doing?

Woman A: I am pounding the chillies.

Woman B (annoyed look): Hmm.... We don't use pound anymore.

Woman A (curious look): Ha? What are using nowadays?

Woman B: Kilogram, you know! Kilogram!

....on Friendship and Favours....

            Today was such a day. Favours asked and favours given. All in the name of friendship.

            Zai is a childhood friend. We've known each other since we were 12++. We met at boarding school. Only to discover that our families knew each other too. Which forged a stronger bond between us.
            From dormmates to bff to partner-in-crime to "sunset years" buddies!
            Enroute to her place yesterday morning, I stopped to pick up some baking powder for this baker extraordinaire - for use as ant bait instead of going into her cakes. Also picked up a packet of bicarbonate soda she requested.
            A request fulfilled. She happy, me happy :)

            We [Zai, Kemar and I] then drove off to meet up with Daing - who had graciously and generously hosted a lunch at KGNS to fulfill my request. Daing went one step further - she actually invited 14 of us to this lunch!
            Thank you, Daing :)
            And several of the 14 came bearing gifts, mostly for the host who will be going off to Mekah to perform her hajj soon in syaa Allah.
            See how happy she looks with her presents!

         
          And how happy we were with ours!

           Key finder......

 Great food......

Wonderful company...................

 

Chu on her superbike - a sight to behold!

An unexpected invitation to Koji's beautiful home......

 

.....for tea.

It didn't stop here. I got hungry and felt like having scrambled eggs and toast. Zai rustled those up for me...plus her divine coffee.

Yup! Friendship is such. Favours requested. Favours fulfilled. With no thought of compensation.

And Allah somehow gives much more when this happens. Alhamdulillah..... :)

on Chin Peng [and co]: So he's a hero eh.....

            Try telling that to my late dad......
            He was a member of the Royal Malay Regiment during Chin Peng's heydays of pillage, slaughter and terror. Who spent countless days in the jungles of Kelantan, Perak and several other states. Who experienced several Ramadhans there. I believe, there were several Syawals that he wasn't home too.
            Who saw his buddies being murdered right before his eyes.
            Who had to "clean up" the villages after massacres by the "glorious" PKM. Villages close to jungles were mostly inhabited by Malays. Who were predominantly farmers. Who became the "food source" of the commies.
            Yea...tell that to my late dad......
            Who almost died during several ambush episodes.
            Who discovered that the communist he killed was sometimes of his ethnic race.
            Tell that to Pakcik Mansur who lost his leg - thanks to a commie booby trap.
            Tell that to my maktok [grandma] whose army son went missing for 2 years....and presumed dead. Only to turn up with healed gunshot wounds.
            Tell that to my mum who had to console numerous army widows. Who lived in fear of being one herself every time dad left for the jungle.
             Dear Bawani, Khalid Mohd Ismath, Hishamuddin Rais,
             I'd love to slap your faces. With both hands. Real hard. Until I'm too tired to slap.
             And I think many army kids from that era would like to do the same....if not worse!
           

on Mothers: You'll need them forever.....

            No matter how old I get, I never want to be alive without my mum. Not that I'm particularly close to my mum. My relationship with her is arm's length at best. But I've always counted on her being there. Always on top of whatever transpires in this big family of mine.
            I don't confide in my mum. Or have much to say to her. She sees the cheerful side of me most of the time. But there were times when she confided in me. And times when I fought for her - me being the outspoken one in the family. There was a time when I took care of all her worldly needs. Now, my sister does that....plus taking care of her emotional needs. She, along with my youngest brother, are the two people who connect with mum on a deep level. I'm happy to be on the peripheral playing cheerleader.
            Social events at No30 centers around mum. This has been the way since bapa passed on. During the months after mum's stroke, there was a dearth of social functions involving non-No30 residents. We just weren't up to it. It seemed strange to host events without mum being the grand hostess. Close family friends who visited also felt this. Normally mum would be the one "holding court" and taking center stage.
            Family activities eg vacations, eating out etc were non-existent. We are a very sociable lot her at No30. But since October of last year, we've been somewhat quiet. No open house last year. A lacklustre raya this Syawal too.
            However, mum's condition improved a few months ago. And she wanted to be up and about. So the family eating out sessions resumed. She even managed to go raya-visiting.
            Things looked well for her until the open house a few days ago. We rushed her to Ampang Putri. She was okay after a couple of days there. But a heart problem was detected. There's nothing much the doctors could do given her age and health condition. So we prayed that all will be well with her.
            Now she's back in hospital. With a worsened heart condition.
            I'm ready for the worst.....though I still pray that she'll make it this time around too......

on Price Hikes: Life's like that lah.....

            Folks who know me would say, "Of courselah you have nothing to complain about. You still live with your mum." And they'd be spot on!
            I live in a tiny flat behind mum's bungalow. Rent free.
            Most of my meals are consumed at other people's dining tables - mum's, sister's, daughter's, brother's. We all live on the same compound. I dismantled my stove and gave away the gas cylinder.
            Which makes me a parasite of sorts I guess..........
            I don't own a car. Or motorbike. Not even a bicycle. I walk when I can't hitch a ride or get a taxi.
            I smoke cheap cigarettes because I feel it's sacrilege to pay RM10 a pack to slowly kill myself.
            I attempt to grow my own greens and stuff. So far the kailan, carrots, kangkung, tomato, chilli, spinach, okra, cucumber, pegaga, mango, guava, soursop plants are still alive. Though I've yet to experience the thrill of harvesting them. Am praying that I'll get the chance to do so.
            I now drink Kopi Hang Tuah because I'm somewhat rascist.
            Endeavouring to stay away from Zionist friendly products have saved me some RM.
            My daughters' eatery provides my contribution to potluck parties. A good thing my friends love the food.
            Being abaya clad I needn't worry about my wardrobe. What I have takes me everywhere. Nobody notices black clad ladies in oversized clothes much.
            Being over 50, single mum, unemployed get me a lot of invitations for free meals. Free rides too.
            My grandkids think I'm dirt poor as I only have biscuits and dates in my flat. Add that to a yet-to-be-fixed-for-the-longest-time refrigerator. So they hardly ask me for anything. They only drink plain water in my home as I only stock that plus tea and coffee. I figure they could easily run home to get their Milo, Vitagen, CalciYum, Peel Fresh fix.
            All visitors to my home know that they'll need to bring their own food when they visit at mealtimes. They bring enough to feed me too. My friends are really very nice people.
            My electricity bill seldom exceed RM100 every quarter. I know that if I sleep regular hours like most folks, I'd probably cut that down by 30%.
            A 3kg box of MaxKleen 9 laundry detergent lasts for more than 6 months.
            Since I don't cook and mostly eat at other people's dining tables, I don't do a lot of dishwashing. I've the same bottle of dishwashing liquid which I bought when I first moved in - sometime in October last year.
            My family's water supply is free. We pipe in spring water from the hills at the back of the property.
            I'm a lazy so and so who loves staying in. And can comfortably survive on biscuits and dates.
            I'm SO blessed! ;)
            Sorry I can't bitch along with you......but I promise to nod emphatically.......

of Gardens: My sister's handiwork

 

                     

  Zai, Leha and I enjoying the garden - with Khadeeja :)

Apa takut???

            Apa yang kamu takut sangat dengan kami yang berpegang teguh kepada ini?
            Yang majoritinya dari negara yang kurang maju.
            Yang ekonominya rapuh.
            Yang matawangnya tidak mampu menggugat kamu.
            Yang rakyatnya ramai yang tidak faham pun bahasa kamu.

            Yang kami ada, yang kami teguh berpegang, yang kami yakin dan percaya, hanyalah sebuah kitab.
            Yang tidak bertukar walau setitik pun tandanya selama lebih 1400 tahun.
            Yang dihafal oleh ramai diantara kami setiap hari.
            Itu saja senjata kami.
            Sebuah kitab yang membina segunung iman.
            In syaa Allah.
           
            Kerana yakin dengan janji2 didalamnya, kami berani mati!
            Adakah mungkin...INI yang kamu takuti???
            Kami berani mati hari ini!
            Kamu pula mahu hidup seribu tahun lagi.......

Outing

Baru-baru ni kami sekeluarga keluar pergi menonton wayang. Rasanya dah lama sangat tak menonton wayang, bertahun! Last, tengok Avatar.

Baru-baru ni kami tengok The Conjuring. Anak saya yang kecil tu, yang umur 7 tahun diseludupkan masuk ke panggung. The Conjuring tu memang hanya untuk 18sg. tapi masalahnya, nak tinggalkan dia dengan siapa?

So, kami pun masuk panggung, kami dah briefed dia, ni cerita ahli sihir. takut! banyak terkejut!

NAMUN... yang banyak terkejut tu, saya! Mak nya ni! Si kecik tu, selamba je tengok wayang sambil makan popcorn. Katanya tak takut sebab bukan tengok hantu sebenar.

Huhuhu, memang tak memberi kesan kepada dia.

Well, i think it is because cerita tu cerita omputih, dia tak faham english sangat kecuali good morning dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Selain dari itu, cerita tu adalah dari pandangan si pengubat, bukan dari pandangan victim.

Tak apa nak, lain kali mommy bawak tengok cerita kartun, seperti Dora the explorer. Barulah boleh connect, kan.

hahaha, my mistake.

Minta aja...from Allah :)

            I love the concept of "Allah knows what's in your heart - but He still loves to hear you ask for whatever it is you want." And asking favours from Him is so easy. Cakap aja sure dapat. Cuma...mungkin not in the way you'd like. Or expect. But you'll get whatever is good for you...at that particular point in time.
            This has happened to me countless times. The most recent being just a couple of days ago. Just as I planned on my course of actions for the next few weeks [on a venture I was exploring], I got the entire thing handed to me on a plate. By the most unexpected route. During a social occassion - with business being the furthest from my mind. Without me having to raise a single cent. Simply amazing!
            Thank You, ya Allah! You have risen to the occassion...gloriously....yet again!
            Yet...there are many I know who refuses or fail to ask from Him, whilst doing everything possible to realise their wants and needs. Then they sigh. And moan. And groan. Ada yang play the blame game. Ada yang menceceh sana sini sampai tak larat telinga nak dengar. Tapi tak nak spend some time mengadu domba denganNya. Pelik manusia ni lah! Sanggup bayar call charges instead of using the FOC direct line.
            One thing I've noticed is that Allah always gives more than I expected. I'm a planner - limited by my grey matter and other resources. And I accept this. And I unabashedly ask......it's easy after all ;)

Muslims: stand up and be counted!

            Everyday I see pictures of more dead bodies. Only this time it's different. Children and women, both young and old, are regarded as enemies....and exterminated. Like pests. Every rule of engagement blatantly flouted.

            Shame on you, Assad!
            Shame on you, Mansour!
            Thumbs up, Erdogan!
            Wither art thou, the rest of the Muslim leaders?? Speak up! Whimpers can't be heard over the sound of gunfire for heaven's sake!

.....in Syria...in Palestin....in Burma...and anywhere else where they are treated inhumanely.        
            I wish I could do more  :'(

on Takdir - some weird concepts.....

            I remember a discussion a few of us had years ago. 5 Muslims sitting at a table in a place where good Muslims wouldn't dream of setting foot in. I was the only woman there - at least, the only woman "brave" enough to be in the discussion.
            There was Mr Millionaire Hot Shot Engineer and his entourage of Mr Sidekick who called him God and Mr Business Partner . Then there was Mr Champion Pool Player, Mr Private Banker and me. It was after midnight and we were having a bite before going home.
            Mr Millionaire Hot Shot Engineer [MHSE] started it all.
MHSE: "You know...if our takdir is already written, then why bother doing anything? We can't change it."
Me     : "What do you mean?"
MHSE: "Yelah. Takdir is fixed kan. So we don't have to do anything lah since we can't change it."
           Mr Champion Pool Player [CPP] jumped into the conversation with, "Betullah. But, mana kita tau what our takdir is. So kita kena berusaha."
MHSE: "Why bother to do anything if it's already fixed?"
          Mr Sidekick [MS] nodded and quipped, "True. But we should still go ahead and do whatever we think is right for us."
Me     : "And what IS right for us? What yardstick are we using to gauge right and wrong here?"
MHSE: "Normal yardstick that people use lah. We all know the definition of right and wrong kan."
Me     : "Then are we doing the right things you think? All these things that we do regularly?"
           Mr Business Partner [BP] remarked, "Kita bukan kacau orang pun!"
Me     : "Does that make it right? Look, I'm Muslim. I know what I'm doing is wrong. Kacau orang ke tak kacau orang ke is besides the point. It's wrong by God. My yardstick is God."
CPP   : "Alah we're not as bad as some others."
Me     : "Ish kalau nak compare dengan those who are more haprak than us then we're doomed! Why not compare with those who are wayyy better than us? At least, takder loser sangat kita ni."
MHSE: "But ini takdir kita apa."
Me     : "God sent you your file in Lauh Mafuz is it? How come I didn't get mine?"
BP     : "Eh relaxlah!"
Me     : "Relax apabenda! This is not something you play at. I refuse to accept that God throws me into this world just to amuse Himself."
MHSE: "I still think it's our takdir."
Me     : "Then what's the point of berdoa? What's the point of doing good? I STILL refuse to believe that Allah sent us here just to prance around doing whatever our hearts desire, then die. Mesti ada purpose kan. Otherwise apasal ada Quran, ada hadith?"
MHSE: "You tak tau takdir you kan. You may be destined for hell for all you know."
Me     : "If I die right this minute, I'm pretty sure I'll end up in hell. Nauzubillahminzalik. Okay I'll play along with you. Why do you work so hard to get the things you want if sudah ditakdirkan you jadi millionaire? Why are you always chasing the next big job? Apasal you tak duduk aja kat rumah and tunggu bungalow you, BMW you etc datang aja kat depan you?"
MHSE: "Of courselah kena do something if I nak senang."
Me     : "So...samalah juga if you want to get to heaven. Kenalah do something. Pray, fast, bayar zakat blablabla....kan!"
MS    : "Ya...but our takdir is still fixed. We may work our butts off and still be fakir miskin."
Me    : "Agree! Sebab kita tak tau takdir kitalah we have to do everything possible to get whatever we want. Bukan like he said, tak payah buat apa-apa."
CPP  : "You guys are so seriouslah."
Me    : "It is a serious matter pun. Look...if I do nothing but sleep and eat for a whole year, I'd still be a year older. But would I still have a job you think? Can I put it down to takdir that I'm jobless?"
MS   : "Alah! That's just being stupid!"
Me   : "Tau pun stupid! So mesti ada effort kan? I rest my case. Allah is not cruellah suka-suka hati nak tulis bukan-bukan kat file kita kat Lauh Mafuz tu."
MHSE: "Okaylah...you win."
Me     : "Eh...this is not about winning tau. This is about faith. I may be a lot of things...but I don't fool around with faith."

An intriguing movie indeed

            I watched a movie recommended by my son. There sat 8 people in a bare living room - 7 senior college professors and a student. The central figure was a man who claimed he had lived for 14000 years.
            It was a really interesting movie. It explored the human psyche - that people will believe in only what is known and proven to them. People are generally scared stiff of the unknown....or whatever is beyond their logic to fathom.
            Many folks require scientific proof of everything in order to believe. Same for these folks in the movie - they needed proof that God exists.
            Personally I find it liberating to just have faith that Allah exists. That He did whatever He said He did in the Quran. I don't require it proven. I see many things that man could never do. So I believe that there's a mightier force - way mightier than man, and He's the force who created all these things. And I leave it at that. Perfectly contented to accept His existence. No stress. No questions. Absolute acceptance.
            So maybe I'm lazy. Maybe some will say that I don't challenge my intelligence. I'm okay with that. I love asking questions. But not on stuff that has no impact on my day to day activities or my believe system. I remember a lecture on people of the cave [al-Kahfi]. And the speaker saying, "Does it matter what colour shirts those guys were wearing? Does knowing this improve your faith?"
            I see folks struggling to find faith. Always asking for proof. There's even a friend who wants God himself to speak to him. Yet he doesn't want to go all out to find God. You can him everything there is to tell and he wouldn't believe.
            Same for the folks in this movie. One believed that anything is possible. Another died when he discovered the central character was telling the truth. Most of the rest were happy to accept that it was all a grand play of one man's imagination. And a lady who knew it was the truth and accepted it peaceably.
            Watch this and be intrigued......

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM_zl2GIg44

of Muslimah fashion....

           I came across an article featuring a muslimah fashion show. I wondered what the designers were thinking of when they came up with those designs.
           Sure - the clothes covered the curves beautifully. And therein lies the problem. The curves are also on show.
           Colouful outfits. Some in layers. Some bedecked in glitters...all a-bling-bling. Some cinched at the waist - others at the empire line. Fabric so fine they lovingly and faithfully hug the curves....leaving nothing to the imagination.
           The head covering is another story altogether.
           And they call this muslimah fashion.
           S.I.G.H.
           I'm not saying that all muslimah should be shrouded in black from head to toe. Just that whatever a muslimah chooses to garb herself in, it shouldn't give any hint of her curves. Or draw attention like a neon lighted signboard.
           Modesty....that's what's required of us. It means......

           mod·es·ty  (md-st)

n.

1. The state or quality of being modest.

2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.

3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

The adjective of which is...... 

mod·est  (mdst)

adj.

1. Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own talents, abilities, and value.

2. Having or proceeding from a disinclination to call attention to oneself; retiring or diffident. See Synonyms at shy¹.

3. Observing conventional proprieties in speech, behavior, or dress.

4. Free from showiness or ostentation; unpretentious. See Synonyms at plain.

5. Moderate or limited in size, quantity, or range; not extreme: a modest price; a newspaper with a modest circulation.

         
           The designers need to take this challenge to design creations that "fits to a T". Not take the easy way out and pass off maxi dresses as muslimah outfits  :)

PRU13 - the aftermath...on a personal front

            I was never much into politics. Still not much into it now too. Maybe just a little more attentive than before.
            I still am not into newspapers - regardless of whose publication it is. Too pessimistic. Too filled with complaints, whines, groans, moans. Definitely not my recipe for a good start to the day. But I'll still click whatever links are posted on fb. I figure I could tolerate moderate doses of slime and grime.....
            In the aftermath to the much awaited PRU13, I have to say:
1.    I'm glad it's all over;
2.    I'm glad BN won despite all adversities;
3.    I'm glad that the rakyat is more open to speaking up [eventhough some opinions make me nauseous/roll my eyes]. At least I get a glimpse into the myriad personalities that make up my fellow Malaysians;
4.    I'm glad to discover there are fair-minded, level-headed rakyat out there whose views aren't clouded with party affiliations;
5.    I'm glad to forge new friendships with people I don't even know from Adam just because we agree to opine courteously - thanks to social networking;
6.    I'm glad for the opportunity to agree to disagree and yet remain civil;
7.    I'm glad for relationships taken to a "closer" level with certain individuals in my life - I get an insight into why they support whomever they support;
8.    I'm glad there was no May 13th like incident;
9.    I'm glad that despite all the rascism etc rampant in the tabloids and social networks, out there in the real world [at least in mine], all is hunky-dory among the many ethnic races;
10.  I'm glad for aidilfitri which gives respite to all that strife and fosters goodwill - even if it's only for a while;
11.  I'm glad that people are generally still kind to each other despite their differences. I've yet to hear of folks asking about party affiliations before they assist!
            There are many things we aren't happy about. But that doesn't mean we should complain incessantly and blame the powers that be about every single thing that goes wrong with our lives. It's amazing what people bitch about these days!
            I do have my wishlist with regards to the ruling party. I'm not blind to their shortcomings. And I'm sending out prayers that they wouldn't continue blinding themselves to these. They can't continue pushing their luck at every quarter.
            There'll be PRU14 in a few years where I'll get to exercise my right again, God willing....So buck up BN and deliver your promises!

Aidilfitri 2013 at No30

            This is the first aidilfitri that can be considered pretty low-key and quiet....by Cik Peah's [mum] standard I guess. Mum suffered a stroke after raya last year and is bedridden. She's been able to eat solid food less than 6 months ago. And since she didn't request for any particular "raya" food, the main kitchen was "at rest" on the eve of aidilfitri. Absolutely NOTHING happened there that night.
            No one seemed to know the programme for the next day. Or what the raya spread would be. I guess no one really cared. We know there'd be food on the table....courtesy of Naan Corner.
            Goes to show that when the matriach is down, the aidilfitri spirit isn't the same as previous years. But we had a great time all the same....albeit on a much smaller scale :) Alhamdulillah.......

Mak flanked by Shasha [left] and Ani

Gen Y and the Internet Generation

Zara and Iza

            Full house came lunch time. Almost every available space was occupied. It was pandemonium! But fun :) We were too busy to snap photos though :(

Loli and family with mak

Darimi, Iskandar and baby Khadeeja all looking gorgeous.

Part of the "Retro Gang"