It's that time of the year again. Some look forward to it, some wait breathlessly for it, some rue it, and some just don't care much about it. Then there's the some...for whom it's just another day....of 3 square meals starting from daybreak.....
When I was a child, I loved Ramadhan - no one will force me to eat something. I was a finicky eater due to allergies. I viewed food with utmost suspicion. That innocent looking dish could get me throwing up for hours and I hated that! Or I could get mouth ulcers - the size of chicken pox. So eating wasn't big on my list.
I can't recall when I actually made it a habit to "bersahur". The thought of ingesting food at 4am just doesn't thrill me. At boarding school, I would be awoken by the bell [the pakcik used a cow bell if I remember correctly]...and the noise. But I didn't eat. I'd drink a lot though.
Maybe I started to "bersahur" when my firstborn started fasting. Just there for moral support. I still couldn't eat at that hour. And I also couldn't eat much during "berbuka". By the end of Ramadhan, I'd usually lose anything from 10 to 14lbs - weight I couldn't afford to lose given the fact that I weighed in at 100lbs +- 5lbs.
The funny thing is, I was hardly ever sick during Ramadhan [except for that one year when I had a bout of bronchitis for 2 weeks]. I think it had something to do with my preference for fruits and lots of water for iftar. The sugar from those fruits must be supplying me with lots of energy. Also the fact that dates is a meal to me, instead of just the obligatory sunnah thingy :) I absolutely love dates at any time of the year.
This Ramadhan saw a change at No 30. We no longer have piles of food on the table. I guess that means we don't do the bazaar ramadhan crawl much. A refreshing change! I would go down to the main kitchen after maghrib prayer - more to socialise than eat really :)
Now that I'm into gardening, I'd look in on my plants after asar to do the "heavy" stuff like transplanting.
And I get to thinking how blase I am about this fasting thingy. I've never had to go without food or shelter. I've never had to do it in the middle of strife like the Palestinians, Syrians, Egyptians, Bosnians. I've never had to beg for a few morsels of food. I've never had to fear for my life like the Rohingyas. I've never had to battle a life threatening ailment.
I'm just so blessed! Yet I take it so for granted! Making it difficult for me to embrace the true spirit of Ramadhan. Ironic isn't it? It's true that when you have so much, you tend to forget how fortunate you are.
So this year I want to attempt to feel the deep gratitude that I should feel for being so blessed. May Allah grant me a totally new experience before I bade this world goodbye.......
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