I came across this statement during one of my forays into Malay novels. How true this statement is! "Baik" encompasses everything - thoughts, actions, outlook, physical appearance...and the list goes on. Being human isn't easy. We are bombarded and, at times, overwhelmed by our emotions. Emotions that are further influenced by the physical world of advertisements, cultural mores, social expectations, family pressures etc.
It certainly is NOT easy to be "baik"! During my years in the corporate world, I was expected to look, act and perform in a certain prescribed manner befitting my position in the organisation. Being a woman in a man's world wasn't a smooth ride. Although I was at the same level as my male colleagues, I couldn't afford to speak or act like them - although there were many occassions when I would have loved to stick my middle finger in front of their faces! Being one of only two women at that level , the other a non-Muslim, made it imperative that I act and speak carefully. We were constantly observed. And I can just imagine the "locker room talk". Don't be fooled...men also have this predilection to bitch and label - at times, even worse than women!
And the "come-ons" I get from the males...both within and without the organisation...sigh...It brings to mind something told to me by a friend, "lelaki ni macam kucing - walaupun dah kenyang, kalau ada lauk kat depan dia, dia tetap akan sniff". And "sniff" they did. So it's up to the women to hold on to their principles - to not be swayed by the sweet murmurings...especially if you don't look like the back of a dirty bus. I socialised with my male colleagues to the very bare minimum after office hours, usually swimming with the few "safe" ones. The corporate world offers myriad temptations to shake your iman, particularly if you keep long hours at the office. You see the same faces, eat, talk, work and hang around them a lot longer than you do with your family - made even worse when you have to travel a fair bit for work.
Add this to "the grass is always greener on the other side" and one has a recipe for emotional disaster. You come home tired. Your spouse comes home tired. Your children got tired of waiting up for you. Both you and spouse are too tired to talk or do much of anything else. Home becomes just a place to rest all our collective weary heads. pfffft!! If you're like me who became a "janda" (yea...THAT word) at a relatively young age, then you're open to a different kind of temptation and bias. You're suddenly deemed dangerous, exciting, attractive, sluttish...depending on who is looking at you. In my case, proposals (indecent and otherwise) abounded. I was spoilt for choice ***rolling eyes***. I kept my cool and surrounded myself with people I trusted.
I'm no angel...and I'm far from being one now. But I, too, yearn to be "baik"...before I meet my maker. I used to observe the "baik" folks around me - those who accepted me warts and all. They contributed to my holding on to my principles all these years. They didn't label me and never tire of egging me on - in their own unique ways. As the years passed, this wanting-to-be-baik urge got stronger. I quit doing many activities I used to do mindlessly. I turned to inner reflection a lot more, a lot longer. I prayed for salvation.
And you know what? Allah always gives you what you want - at least that's how I feel.... :)
[to be continued...]
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