alahai PRU13........

       I've never paid much attention to politics - be it domestic or international. Never could understand the shenanigans rampant in that environment. I guess I also don't have a stomach strong enough to digest the offerings. And I have just discovered that my stomach is still queasy........
        I first voted in 1981....a looooong time ago. I was 21 then, and it was easy to choose which party to root for. For decades, it remained easy. No dilemma whatsoever. Until PRU13.
         For the first time in my life, in my sunset years, I sat up and paid attention. Much is at stake here. The future of my children and grandchildren, my religious faith, the fate of my people and nation. When I once just listened to political rhetoric with one ear [when I even listened], I had both ears plus one heart alert this time around. Being the researcher that I am, I went to work online and offline. I read. I inquired. I seeked. I pondered. I shared my views. I listened to everyone I came upon. I reflected. I thought deep and hard.
          And I prayed. I chanted the same doa the Islamic party chanted. I chanted it fervently. I was really at a crossroad then. I, too, want to make the right choice by me, by Islam, by my country, by the people I share my life and this blessed country with. I, too, want a clear conscience. I, too, want to believe that I've exercised my right honourably and have made the right choice. I, too, want to, one day, stand before my God and be able to get His blessings.
          In the interim, I helped out this kakak from PAS with her community work. She needed help and I had the time. I got to meet quite a number of PAS members as a result. And I like and respect Saari Sungip, and am really happy he won DUN Hulu Kelang. I never once heard him say anything remotely disrespectful about his opponents. In fact, he expressly mooted his "jentera pilihanraya" to be mindful of people's sensitivities, to not provoke or be provoked, to always behave commendably. I did declare out loud that if I could elect people instead of parties, I'd elect him :) He helped sooth the sadness of being deemed a lesser Muslim, even a kafir at times, and being told "tak dapat pahala ibadat". Which is more than I can say about many of the PAS leaders/supporters I bumped into online. Whose actions and language just made me go "huh?". They could learn a lot from my "son" - a passionate PAS supporter. At 25, he has more finesse and maturity than many [older than him] that I came across :)
          Not one to be easily impressed by rhetoric, nor easily swayed by sentiment, it was somewhat of an uphill battle to choose. I saw the flaws in both BN and PR. I'm not too enamoured with BN. I'm not blind to the goings-on in the party I've voted for since my inaugural vote. I'm not blind either to the "[in]effective housekeeping" of the PR when it comes to their "pucuk pimpinan". Call me naive, but when you scream integrity, honesty, openness, then I expect to see that clearly embraced and practised. When you scream "akhlak, adab", I expect you not to sweep "unpleasantness" under the carpet and to be consistently ethical in both behaviour and language. And maybe I'm guilty of expecting more from PAS given their Islamic leanings. I expect PAS to emulate the khalifah(s) of old. After all, they are definitely more learned than me. I must admit that several PAS leaders were like a breath of fresh air. I pray that they remain that way or be better.
          At the end of the day, it came down to just this: I just couldn't accept Anwar as PM. Not that I view Najib as an angel. Just that, in my eyes, Anwar is worse. In my eyes, Anwar = Israel. THIS, I cannot risk!
          Yesterday morning, I said the last of my prayers. Hugged the PAS and PKR members I met at their "markas". Went across the road and did the same to the BN members at theirs. I got in line. Recited al-Fatihah while queuing. And voted for BN. Not even half believing that it would win. Serious!
          I then went to a "gerai" for roti telur and sambal kerang. I was joined by BN, PKR and PAS supporters. We chatted amicably. Listened to a friend's son regale his experience of driving his MCA boss to dinner at Pavillion [if I'm not mistaken] on the eve of PRU13; their car was mobbed and they were told to pull out the BN stickers. The mob rapped on the windows and other parts of the car. It was scary, he said.  Good thing the boss had his bodyguard along. Bodyguard had to resort to firing a shot into the air to disperse the crowd.
          I bought them breakfast. We wished each other the best of luck upon leaving. Not the slightest hint of animosity. No voter was harassed. The few Chinese whom I chanced upon, who seemed a tad uncomfortable when they saw a predominantly "Melayu" crowd, visibly relaxed when they were courteously greeted and welcomed to the polling station. I was told the scene was way different at several nearby polling stations.
          When the results started coming in, I was kinda happy to see BN leading. After a while this lead went to PR. It got scarily touch and go. I watched with baited breath, a part of me praying for a miracle yet not placing too much hope of winning.
          I couldn't believe it when BN won! Albeit by the skin of their teeth. But a win is a win all the same. Alhamdulillah. And I sent out a prayer that BN would do right by every rakyat this time around. That they'd have learnt their lessons. That they'd take all the necessary measures to do the right thing. So they can honestly say they did their level best come PRU14, in syaa Allah. I believe that a stronger opposition is a good thing. Provided the opposition isn't out to draw blood. Keep BN on their toes for sure.
         I am thankful for this win. I didn't gloat. I noticed that all of my fb pro-BN pals didn't either. I'm glad.
         I figure I'll be paying more attention to politics from now on. Just enough to know the essentials. However, right now, I'll give myself some time off. I have more pleasant pursuits in mind compared to reading the seemingly endless whines, criticisms, suspicions, slander..................